"Monotony shapes apathy. Oh, and hell is other people."

If you're interested in who I am, what I do, and what I represent, then read carefully. I'm a typical reticent Bay State dork who suffered a conniption in the head and became withdrawn and irresolute upon realizing his young life was nothing but a banal slough of forced solitude. That's a long-form expression for "doesn't get out much", but far more accurate.

I was introduced to Newgrounds around twenty and started an account later, displeased over typical "crew" garbage. My voting disposition has not changed to this very day. When my brother proposed a joint effort to deliver our insane fiction (fan and original alike) into cartoons, life became primed toward that goal, a stepping stone toward greater things. I purchased computers, display adapters, tablets, art supplies, and other related tools to this end. But life got in the way constantly.

When I first acquired an apartment I lacked a vehicle; I could walk to work for a while, but getting unceremoniously fired compelled me to find a vehicle with my savings. During this time, I lost regular contact with my brother, who got addicted to World of Warcraft. In the meantime, our mother turned recluse and let her '96 Intrepid rust away. It must be fun to be conservative in the Bay State, our political affiliation and location. I bet we do it just because it bars us from having to converse with idiot neighbors. I don't care either way and every way: I go to meetings to combat my own lone-wolf instinct, having considered it an unbreakable, hard-wired addiction in itself.

Worse, I lost all sense of incentive in my current job, which involves (chiefly) unpacking furniture. It's harsh when you have to assemble something and you're repeatedly called to the front to lift something for a customer. Either I am losing speed or the workload is skewed. Either way, a prelude to getting fired is when your supervisor complains about your efficiency while claiming to plan on hiring new temps.

I've considered sending a notice of quitting; I can't find enough ways to improve my efficiency if I'm the one who prefers being thorough. Most people here don't think that worrying over a monkey's job is the sign of a healthy mind. Just remember the character of people at this site: they don't take things seriously. Or, perhaps I lack character, by Newgrounds standards. Just be careful when I start to not get your jokes. Don't just stand there and keep telling them.

Last Sunday, Helbereth offered a bet: I get my Paladin to Level 80 in World of Warcraft and be available for raids, and he'll get back into the swing of Flash once again. I am scratching his back a lot more than he deserves. Still, it's worth a shot. In the meantime, I have been throwing a tablet around and endlessly studying ActionScript to break the ice--can't just be considered a co-writer or voice-over, it just seems wrong. I am struggling to finish college and become a game designer, so everything I do is linked to that goal.

Right now, the only positive things I can say about myself is that I can write, draw, and I listen to lots of Audio Portal music. Seriously. I got it stacked up in piles in my drive. When (not just if) I design a game, I usually have one or two musicians' music files stacked in a cohesive order, from event battles to short diddies for game over or victory, etc. I've proposed to engineer a game based on Barbecue Beef Burger Man with music by Bad-Man Incorporated and I still hold true to that claim. The question is how I can work it out....

In any case, I am going to keep this journal daily; one per day. Maybe that will chill my head a bit, which is really why anybody would ever use something like this. Enclosed will be small progress reports on how my technique in Flash is improving. Trust me: I've been browsing plenty of decent tutorials.

In any case, thank you for reading.