Score: 3

"On my Blam List!"

submission: COKEHEAD

date: September 5, 2003

Sniffing coke towards the presidency! Fight off hallucinations with a colt python! Donate some cash to my site if you think this game is good (note that it said THINK, since that does not prove a game's quality, nor does it assume that everybody actually THINKS).

In a nutshell: Why in God's name does this game exist?

I can understand DRUGFILMS' specialization is, of course, illicit drugs, violence and sexual themes (or in two words, "DEPRAVED THEMES"), but the groups' generous doses of trash far surpasses normal conventions of tastelessness.

Nothing personal, but if they learned all this stuff about drugs from first-hand experience, the joke is on them since all drug humor is specifically intended to poke fun at druggies. It doesn't mean we are going to laugh, though. Jay and Silent Bob have greater success than the Flash junkies behind COKEHEAD.

Let it be a fair warning: unless you want to go on a Blamming Spree, avoid COKEHEAD. And everything else from DRUGFILMS.

Score: 1

"Quite Disgusting & Pathetic"

submission: Make-AJ-Lo

date: September 5, 2003

Apparantly, the author believes these games are amusing. They are compelling Only if you're a complete pervert. Since Jennifer Lopez is soon to be married (and has done so twice already because she is a high-profile loser that cannot maintain a decent relationship with a crackhead lunatic celebrity counterpart), I will not sodomize my imagination by playing a game that toys with her image--as though that alone comprised her value to the world. Imagine how Ben should feel that his future wife is stared at by net nerds like you! Stick to the Cokehead series. At least they might not be blammed into damnation like this one is about to be.

Score: 8

"Pretty Damn Nasty"

submission: Vegeta's Problem

date: September 4, 2003

There are several things to take note of:
First--Vegeta stays very much in character.
Second--Constipation is known to get like that.
Third--He should have considered stool softeners.
Fourth--Either the earth was destroyed or it simply got covered in Vegeta's brown essence. The movie cut out at an inopportune time to make any determination.
Finally--This movie is damned funny. I smiled and laughed, so good job!

Score: 9

"Perplexing? No. Goofy? YES!"

submission: Do the Mario!

date: September 4, 2003

First, I smiled. Then, I laughed (especially at the "moral of the story" that summarized the author's apparant problem). An old song from a cartoon series (The SUPER SHOW? I almost forgot about those damn things!), combined with some grainy images of Mario (and live actors of Mario & Luigi), create a perfectly silly and meaningless flash. I will point, laugh and demean the idiot that goes out to "Swing his arms and do the Mario." Excellent submission overall.

Score: 4

"Show-&-Game Crossovers suck sometimes"

submission: Luigi's Island (Spoof)

date: September 4, 2003

Giligan's Island is an old situation comedy that people tend to make parodies of. I never seen anybody use Nintendo-based sprites to spoof the show. Use of the laugh track from the show was alright, but there was nothing funny about this submission. To salvage the short, the creator utilized a mock-up nude sprite of peach being banged by an apparantly fully-clothed Luigi. I hate giving spoilers away for great flashes, but since this is not a great flash, I am forced to make an exception (to sway others from not watching it). One last thing: I didn't smile once.

Score: 8

"Not the greatest, but gets the point across nicely"

submission: Luigi's Frustration

date: September 4, 2003

I have seen this style from Metal Maverick on several occasions, including a stealth-fest with Snake going to the store ('cause he blew some paychecks at a poker game). In each entry, the technical level is average, but the style and humor are pretty good. However, Luigi suffers from bad voice acting, augmented by awful sound. At least it's audible. Overall, it was okay. I happened to smile a bit.