Score: 8

"Good!"

submission: Super Nothing

date: April 30, 2005

I don't see any major problems with this funny flash. But there may be just one: the resolution. It seemed as though Super Nothing did, in fact, nothing, to save the day (save offering the Fat Master an ice cream cone).

The voice work is superb, especially that green guy (that looks terribly close to Alien Hominid, by the way, and also sounds like Gollum from The Lord of the Rings movies). Few people actually manage to do four voices convincingly and have them variate well enough to be believable.

I hope you're planning on making more of these.

Score: 10

"You're a N00b? (Could've fooled me...)"

submission: Sheik's a woman?

date: April 14, 2005

This is downright funny. We realize the little blonde dude in the green pajamas didn't mean any harm, but geez...

First of all, it may be short, but it's sweet, with excellent key-frame technique. Second, the sound is crisp and clear. Finally, the thing is flat-out funny. People will keep saying those three things until they're lucidly ingrained into your head.

You're no N00b--this establishes you as a non-N00b, and I bet you'll end up at the head of a major collaboration. Care to work with my buddy Helbereth sometime?

Score: 8

"Well-Written, Poor Sound and Editing"

submission: The Real Mortal Kombat 1

date: April 14, 2005

Scorpion is now on the front page--about time, huh? This will be a series no doubt--thanks to the positive response from the audience, the witty writing, and concept, but some issues ought to be addressed before principle production begins on later installments.

First, the sound. The voices are okay (though Scorpion doesn't sound tough enough), but the volume is terribly LOW. The mixing is poor, to be frank.

Second, the pacing is slow--this often ruins comedy, which thrives on timing. If there's dead air, or minimal action or dialogue, slice it out as much as possible. The introduction drags. Perhaps a lack of proper sound editing is partially responsible.

However, the strongest points: Scorpion (the likely "star"), solid screenplay, and reality television-oriented concept, shine through. In any case, you have my approval, if you can improve.

Score: 9

"You Waited Nine Months?"

submission: Review: Alien vs Predator

date: April 14, 2005

That was poor to do, waiting for all that time. I hope your next episode with Senya stays current. I saw a silly movie called "Be Cool" starring John Travolta that's a roast in itself, but has enough celebrity glamour to be riddled with bullet holes from Senya!

In essence, this is a hoot--firmly in line with Legendary Frog's trademark. The sound is muffled somewhat, but the pace is tight enough to feel like a truly polished cartoon (look into submitting this to a studio). BOE and "The Frog" make an exceptional team.

Now about Senya and Ark, Mr. Blanchette: when will you work on the Galactic War Saga? I mean, the Chibi comedy of your leads is fun, but I bet you're ready to unleash your "Masterpiece." However, given your current reputation, it might be safer (and downright cool) to revise the epic with mischevous comic flair. It's only a suggestion--don't take it to heart--but one of these days, they're going to light a fire under your butt to try something truly spectacular!

Score: 8

"I Cracked Up... It's Golden!"

submission: "target practice" W.W.W

date: April 6, 2005

Many might feel offended, but they're blowing steam. I got offended by Jeff Weises' original flash, since he went through with his delusions. I felt more sick by that than from anybody's parody of anything. This flash tickled me somewhat.

Go ahead and hate me. The kid is in hell for not dealing with his plight in a constructive fashion. Don't go easy because of his background; it mirrors various stories about growing up. He didn't. Some people, living and dead, deserve to be offended.

I still sympathize with the wretch. On many occasions, I wanted to kick tons of ass (not kill anyone, but ensure they're awake and in pain). My reasons were strikingly similar to the guys behind the Colombine shooting, as well as Jeff. Colombine was a kick in the face, or revelation, to let go of the grudges, breathe life into what I truly held dear, and move on--a difficult transition, but completed.

As for the flash, the key-frame style mirrors the original and contains a lucid enough message. The sound quality is good, too.

Score: 0

""Disgusting!" --Astaroth, knocking you skyward..."

submission: Gary The Gynecologist

date: March 17, 2005

Seriously, this is a cruelly dirty joke presented.

However, instead of being cheap and offering back story in the form of text (that doesn't even scroll like in a cheap Space Opera movie from the 1950s), you should next time allude partially to the fate of the man's brother by a prologue sequence. This might take an extra 500 Kilobytes, but the payoff is typically worth the effort.

Overall, this flash cannot be recommended, due to content issues. Plus, it's cheaply designed--good for a laugh before it vanishes from time's memory.

Score: 6

"Not the "Greatest Flash Ever," but..."

submission: The Most Annoying Flash

date: March 12, 2005

If I said I liked the current "Numa" craze, would you hold it against me? You probably would. Thankfully, I think like this flash author, that "Numa" has gotten old. As a fad, it will pass.

"The Most Annoying Flash" by "Tool of The System" succeeds in its satire against Numa, and little more than that. Personally arranging the soundtrack gives him some points, too.

However, considering that NOBODY CARES about who likes Numa and who doesn't, the satire is like a political cartoon; the context of the flash won't stay fresh or contextually insightful. If he had anticipated further crazes, then no problem. Instead, the flash focuses pressure solely and hatefully on "Numa," and will lose its steam for that.

It's worth a chuckle, though, and will last as long as Numa does. If people stop discussing Numa, it will gradually vanish (the same is true in advertising). An electronic mail to Mr. Fulp concerning his front page exposure of "Numa" might be in order.

Score: 6

"Bizarre Animation Reduced by Epileptic Effects"

submission: 45

date: March 12, 2005

I'm no fan of concept videos, and I know why. This is a classic example. Some might like it, but many won't--especially the parts where an epileptic would have a hard time. Those parts annoy the rest of the audience.

That's a critical weakness, but it's not the only one. The repetition of the number 45 in everyday life is sort of like the repetition of 11:11--people check the clock and think there's something to it, but its just as likely as any other number. I've observed 9:59 many times during nighttime. Seeking meaning though the repeated presence of a number isn't a good idea. Just ask a forty-five year-old if they've had more metaphysical suggestions in daily life. They're at the age when they wouldn't.

Still, plenty of bizarre stuff happen in the video to make it worth anyone's time--if they're into that sort of thing. It's open to interpretation, at least, but most would just turn the other way.

Score: 5

"Excellent Concept Plagued by Midi Limitation"

submission: TmsT's Zero Wing Rhapsody

date: March 12, 2005

"Too Much Spare Time" places a smile on everyone's face with the concept of "Zero Wing Rhapsody." However, the limited Midi sound and poor voices slice the score in half. Still, the concept is valid.

Queen is considered "operatic rock"; melodrama plays a key. The flash achieves this visually, but not vocally. Voices fall short of exaggerating the emotion for Queen. It seemed "TMST" "held back," and many will pick up on it.

This must be Midi, but I could be wrong. Whatever was used succeeded with the piano, but not the heavy riffs required during Cats' head-banging sequence. That spoiled the fun.

These seem trivial as a weakness, but they're hard to overcome. Flash artists who aren't musicians borrow from media collections, which works for Newgrounds but few official venues. Worse, studio recording requires hourly fees, and this site's flash artists refuse to shell out money for projects than what's deemed "standard" or "necessary." Going solo has it's share of disadvantages.

However, the sound is clear, so that counts, and the spoof is a cool concept supported by excellent visuals. If the sound gets a spontaneous overhaul, a second "All Your Base" craze won't be far off.

Score: 10

"Excellent Concept!"

submission: Kingdom Wars 3

date: February 7, 2005

A serious short with sprites? Don't make me laugh. No, literally, don't make the people laugh, because this flash is seriously good!

One thing that I thought of as cool was the Hans Zimmer soundtrack, an excellent composer and selection of tunes for setting the mood in a melodramatic war epic. The script, while occasionally stale, shines through in its timing and cinematic sleekness. This tale is in a compact file size, clocking eight minutes of showtime with a good mixture of dialogue and action. And since it is fully 8-Bit retro, that adds to its charm.

Continue with your fourth part (the end of the series, I imagine?) and never be a stranger with other projects in flash at Newgrounds.