Neophyte-Ronin's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Castlevania Whip Crack]

Gross-Out Spoof, rambojoe Style

You know... I was reading those Author's Comments and figured, "That's right, they're going to have Simon get killed constantly by Death!" Instead, the uh... well the uh... uh....

Yeah, anyway, this reminds me a lot of Contra Rampage, which had a fluid frame-by-frame style and perverse sense of humor. Same thing here. The second act is reminiscent of Pleasure Island II by Greasy Moose (aka Sexual Lobster) but is nowhere near as pretty. The animation is fluid but ugly and crude. Maybe that's the motif of rambojoe or the other animators.

This is definitely recommended to anyone who likes Castlevania, homoerotic animal husbandry, or just wants to kill it with meteor. There is little doubt that this, as long as there are no game parodies there at the moment, will get the Front Page for a spell.

kalabor106 responds:

Yeah this was sort of a random idea. The constant beat down of death might of been a fun one too, hum. Thanks for the review.

[BBTNG Episode 2 FB poop]

The Next Generation of FatBadger?

Funny in a bad way, this is a runner-up for Turd of the Week. Nice spoof of Star Trek: The Next Generation... but it's nowhere near being an homage. And again, the cracks on Japan's disaster continue. This is not for anybody who prefers to keep those seven minutes for some other endeavor.

FatBadger responds:

Hey man not sure what you are referring to. What movie did you just watch?

[-Toast-]

Good for you. I don't.

The boring ambient tune put me to sleep before the Dadclone showed up. This must have been Dad when he was a kid, bitch.

This isn't really good. Something better can be made.

[Horace And The Deer]

Creepy but a Major Camera Issue

I saw WHITE in the first shot. Apparently, the camera is messed up. Either reposition the symbols to cover that up or adjust the scripted camera (or whatever). Reset the parameters of the flash if you have to.

Eerie and bizarre to say the least. The music improved this effect. I still think Horace is too cartoony to convince us of the mood, though. The deer was somewhere between Bambi and The Ring. Interesting Play Button, too. Even if this is a half-baked first flash, a strange style and potential exists in the author.

StevenCarpenter responds:

Where do you see white? I don't see any when I play it. Thanks for the constructive criticism though!

[I Love Jesse]

Masterful Efforts, Brilliant Parable

Unlike most flash with a religious allegory or theme, this one is a serious one that forces you to think. Mr. Lam's intent is successful in this case.

This is actually a hardcore piece of work that exemplifies what Flash is capable of. The use of tweens and lip sync are fluid, the cartoon style throws you in, and the do-it-yourself voice-overs, complete with a crowd (unheard of in most Flash!), helps to immerse the audience. As Krinkels said, however, the theme is difficult to decipher; it requires audience interpretation. Whether this was deliberate and part of Mr. Lam's motif or simply a flaw in the narrative is anyone's guess.

"I Love Jesse" is not just a parable but a sharp satire of modern day, extending well beyond the religious arena for which it is designed and inserting itself into other facets of everyday life and of human behavior. Thank goodness Jon took time to rethink the concept and pump reckless hours into it. Shout out and get this movie known to all the crazies populating this site!

nahtanojmal responds:

Well I have to say that is the most intellectual review I have gotten. Thank you :D

[SirClock Takes a Stroll]

DUMB

...When suddenly, the unthinkable happens! Hint: it ain't one of those great old ones from beyond the threshold.

[the Murder Paradox]

Brilliant Collaboration

All things considered, I hope you get in the top 3. First place wouldn't be too bad, either!

"The Murder Paradox" is a classic take on perception that decries the notion that "Hell is Other People." It's moving and even has a twist.

At first, I thought this as another "Dot Dot Dot" rip-off, as there are countless text animations due to its popularity. Then I found the art direction and some voice-overs lacking. It seemed inconsistent. Then there was a firearm in the middle of the street. You never question something so out of place when it gets overshadowed by something even more shocking. As the plot unfolded I realized something amiss--a plot inconsistency--and then the twist came. By then I was hooked and came to realize that this is passable in its visuals but stunning in its depth and content.

The realization and juxtaposition between perception and reality toward the end is why "The Murder Paradox" is a great flash by itself and a surefire contender in the competition it was made for.

NuclearTeddies responds:

Wooo, you used some fancy words, but I think I get all of it :)

I must admit that we were inspired by dot-dot-dot, but the story changed a lot in the progress of making the animation, and so did the function of the words.

At first we just wanted to start with the main characters arguing, with the words they used being visible. However, we later changed the story in a way that made not only the gun, but also the nemesis an illusion (therefore the 'paradox' was lost, but we liked the name :D ). The words would then return throughout the story a few times, to visualize the ideas and the true nature of the main characters :D

I'm really glad you got to like it by the end, even though you had some mixed opinions about it throughout the beginning :)

Also, we ended up first place in the regional rounds, which means we are up for the national competition next month :)

[Art scraps two!]

Scapper needs Quality Time with Flash

For someone with this much skill in animating characters and creating effects shots, it's a wonder why you don't do this on a weekly or daily basis. I say drop whatever else you do (unless it's paying bills for the time being) and invest heavily in time spent with this program. Either devise a story or collaborate with someone else. As for trimming down file sizes, Optimize is one avenue. I suggest browsing the BBS and running a search on "file size" or "filesize". People probably found some tricks online.

This stuff is polished. An appropriate sense of design but, like you said, it's a bunch of scraps and not interesting by themselves. If you worked at it, you might pummel the shit out of the regulars around here.

[Her Needs]

A Heartfelt Letter to Pavel

Dear Pavel,

Besides my ceaseless demands for the amount of time you siphoned from my day, I should congratulate you for making the kind of horrible, twisted material that gives Newgrounds its notoriety. No doubt Tom Fulp or some other jerkweed among the Admins will spot this and say, "Oi! This will go GREAT on the Front Page!" You know it will happen.

Which comes to my second point: since I cannot blow the whistle at this point, I should stress the necessity, if possible, of switching that Mature rating to an Adult one. Visual representation of a sex act with genetalia--not just an off-camera schtick--is X-rated material. Mature is more like... oh, say rated R, where off-camera stuff happens, or is implied through sound effects or softcore (i.e. sex act without seeing genitals in the shot). Your flash cartoons always got a laugh out of me but watch it. If you had put an "E" rating on this, someone would have blown the whistle on it.

As for what worked in the cartoon, one word: timing. 'Tis legendary. How could this cartoon get any worse? Wait for the end. Few have ever mastered, let alone perfected, comedic timing of this caliber. If the content doesn't send them screaming for the hills, "Her Needs" might be utilized--with an appropriate disclaimer--to petition your way into collaborations or commissions as a resume showcasing your technique. If they look past the gross stuff, you're in.

But for anyone else who casually happened upon this, they would gag. Comedic timing notwithstanding, I suggest you branch out to other kinds of material. All things considered, the crudity should have stopped ages ago. Well, maybe....

Thank you for reading,

Neo

JunkYardAnimations responds:

I appreciate the time you took for writing this review, and out of respect I will change the rating to Adult! Thanks my main man!!

[Night of the Redead]

Promising First Effort; Requires Coloring Overhaul

If you get past "web 216 for the coloring and try some real ambient or subdued color work, you can really dig the horror element into the audience. You can play with a color palette by importing random .gif files into the swatch palette. There's even a grayscale one if you look around, ideal for film noir work.

Another great example of a soundtrack being used to its fullest. In this case, it's a custom commission, which throws an immense plus to an otherwise merely passable piece. Voice-Overs and other niceties could have been present but nobody will kill a first-timer over it.

Good job in capturing the original character design from the Zelda series. That makes a difference in properly identifying the source material. Even the sound effects and even some music is present, helping to immerse the audience.

Overall, a solid effort for someone new to handling the program, an obvious treat for the fans of Zelda, and a decent entry into a genre that few people bother with around here anymore (not without the really cliched zombie pathos). Don't be a stranger.

Eastbeast responds:

Really appreciate this review, thankyou for the advice! I don't know if I am the horror type, but I enjoy making things with substance regardless of its genre, but I am grateful for your comment. Yes this was a treat for me to make, being it was something I've always wanted to see as well. Thankyou for the constructive comment :) I will definately learn some lipsynch for my next projects