Neophyte-Ronin's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Negroid Prime]

Only Two Reviews?

Yeah, this is number two (unless some punk beats me to the punch with a single sentence!). I immediately replayed this after watching it and started cracking up really hard because--for what it's worth--it's a perfectly evil satire and I like that stuff. Therefore, I'm partial. However, I'm still fair with my review:

Graphics: 4 (lackluster animation and sprite techniques, but they are sufficient in getting the message across).

Style: 7 (come on, this actually had a point behind all the deliberately excessive seediness; can you imagine Nintendo actually jerking around with its reputation so shamelessly?).

Sound: 8 (while the compression nixed the clarity somewhat, everyone performed their parts quite well, furthering this one's twisted charm)

Violence: 7 (not Madness material, but hey, almost every shot had something horrible going on).

Interactivity: 1 (press Replay once or twice... no, three times).

Humor: 8 (two point reduction solely because most people consider this brand very sophomoric and outlandish--not their thing--so only the ghetto fans and Monty Python crazies will actually get it. Still, it's infectiously funny, worth a couple views at least.

Overall: 10. Ignore the grumps behind me. Those praying for blams are not bold.

Rancidiscatchy responds:

Haha thanks a lot, coincidentally I learned about the Vcam I used for this in your big fat tutorial so... thanks!

[Slash Returns: ramagi]

Not Bad

A tongue-in-cheek music video, this could be done better but at least it doesn't suck.

Graphics: 3. Mostly ripped images and poor drawings. At least attempts were made.

Syle: 4. Not the most aesthetic things in the world.

Sound: 6. Perhaps the best strength is the choice of soundtrack.

Violence: 2. A little bit here and there.

Interactivity: 0 (just a replay button).

Humor: 7. Though I wonder if she'd find it funny....

Overall: 5. At least it's better than your previous submissions.

SlashFirestorm responds:

I DISAGREE WITH YOU GOOD SIR

Graphics: 13. My amazing mastery of the little line connecty-thing, of which I know not the name, is unparalleled! The fiery beauty of ramagi and her hotness lights up the screen like a billion fireflies humping a technicolor rainbow.

Style: 2345243542. ramagi and her incredible hotness and power being celebrated is the most important thing the human race has done since...well, ever.

Sound: 4253923542534. FIREHOUSE, MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU HEAR IT?

Violence: 2. Eh, I AGREE. I could have disemboweled the vile .swf's, but pummeling and gunfire is just as good.

Interactivity: 4. A SEXY replay button that arouses cocks through its flawless mastery of actionscript.

Humor: 100, because we all know how likely it is for ramagi to love a lowly just-above-Supreme-Commander warrior like me. It's funny, isn't it? Funny...:crying softly:

Overall: 3.14, because that's pi, and everyone loves pi. :-D

[Dark Era: Chapter 1]

Oh Thank God, something that isn't garbage....

No seriously; when you're Dark-aligned and see the pranks that flash groups pull, you tend to get cynical. This is a very cool horror/drama that retains its sense of humor. Few can do that.

Graphics: 8. Everything is well drawn and blur effects are nice.
Style: 8. You got a good cartoon style, and you even change it up. A few things shouldn't be tweened, but the existence of frames done so well is worth checking out.
Sound: 5. I'm vexed. The music comes in clear, but it's borrowed and the voice-over is too soft.
Violence: 6. Nothing exceedingly nasty, but classic tension and surprise at zombie mobility make up for any alleged lack of violence.
Interactivity: 2. There's even a scene selection! Maybe it's best that it appears at the end.
Humor: 7. The sequence inside the fast food hut is worth the price of admission.

Overall: 10.

Falco-09 responds:

I really apreciate your extensive review, it's really usefull for me, and i'll take everything in count for future chapters.

Thanks a lot!

[SlashClassic3:FAP FAP FAP]

Grotesque

Seriously, it was never meant to be this way.

Graphics: Zero. (Poorly drawn)
Style: Zero (poor taste)
Sound: Zero (what, no sound effects?)
Violence: Zero (who gives?)
Interactivity: Zero (can we keep this out?)
Humor: Zero (boring, really)

Overall: Zero

AfroUnderscoreStud responds:

Zero

[Welcome to PalTalk]

Not an example of Flash at its greatest...

Okay, this is a scathing look at PalTalk. Remind me not to go there. No, he's not an emo. I hate that word, for one. And another, I've no way of knowing because there's only one guy talking. I have no frame of reference about the conversation's context, so I can't judge. But he sure sounded irritated...

Graphics get a zero. That poster is graffiti, and poor even by graffiti standards.

Style is zero. Someone put this on Front Page solely because it pertains to NG somehow and someone is screaming at the top of his lungs over a microphone.

Sound gets a ten. I don't know why... maybe because it captures the moment perfectly?

Violence gets a three. The only thing keeping this guy from swatting people upside their snide little heads was the fact that this is the Internet... rife with borderline retarded people, true, but that is not an excuse. That is a felony.

Interactivity gets a zero. I couldn't tell this guy to shut up, either.

Humor gets a five. One part of me says "Yeah it's a ten because there's screaming and a guy being picked on because he's an emo moron," and the other part of me says: "What are you, kidding me? That could be just about anybody, even you, going haywire like that in PalTalk. He certainly doesn't deserve anymore exposure to the world through someone's crappy flash showcasing his audio bits."

Overall, this flash gets a zero. It doesn't really boost anyone's confidence in PalTalk... and it certainly doesn't entertain the outsiders of the site, either.

Pog responds:

Thanks for the responce, I wasn't shooting for flash at it's greatest it was the humor I was trying to get to, but thanks for the review anyways.

[The Ultimate Battle]

For a quick non-cheap laugh

Okay, that was pretty funny. I expected another drawn-out pixel-fest between the two, but because I set my expectations low, this surprised me.

Graphics: 6. Okay, let's be certain about something: you drew them pretty well. It wasn't a terribly showy presentation given the size, but that's not the point. This is all about fun.

Style gets a six. We've seen them before, but hey... this one still stands out.

Sound gets a six. The voice-overs are even nicer (they're in step with the characters) compared to text-based stuff. It might have been wiser to pick a different battle-sounding theme from one of their games instead of Final Fantasy, however. You're not prone to care since it's not a long movie.

Violence is zero (sorry if that spoiled it).

interactivity gets a one. You got a play button.

Humor gets a 10. Punchline, baby.

Overall: a six. Are you planning on a series of shorts?

Renegade-Hamster responds:

I'm not planning a series of shorts. This short was the essence of unplannedness. I did it on a whim, without thought of any sequels.

I used FF music because I didn't think using music from either Mario or Sonic's games would be fair to the other character, and using music from both would just be confusing. So I decided to use battle music from a neutral game. Ta da!

[Something Random]

This needs something....

Okay, I guess you got ticked at your computer, huh? ...If you fiddled with the settings on the sound, this thing would be less than 8 MB. But it's worth the time for a stupid chuckle at least.

Graphics are a five. You just sketched it, threw it into Flash, lip synch through the program, and voila! Instant stupidity. At least you got half the process right.... And hey, you're okay for one that had just a week to put something together. Think of the insanity if you had a month!

Style is 6. It's just randomized insanity, worth a viewing or two just to get all the parts right.

Sound is 5, because sometimes you were distinct with voice overs, and other times... not.

Violence is 3. Much of it was just implied.

Interactivity is one. You got a play button, whoopie.

Humor is seven. That part where the stick figure has a power rating of 9000 was priceless, reminiscent of Animator versus Animation.

Overall: you get a six. Do something more next time and you're guaranteed to turn heads.

Mandalorian-Jedi responds:

It was 16MB, bu I tonned it down from the sound to 8... And not only did I simpy sketch it, but I scribbled it. If you look closely, you'll see little effort in that area...

And Animator versus Animation? I had no intention of doing it like that, but alrighty...

[DD : Advance]

This is a hate review

........

But there's nothing to hate about this!

So let's just move on to why it rocks, shall we?

Graphics got a 10. I don't care how pixellated it is... you expect that from pixels. Changing up the camera angle expertly with the proper backgrounds is a hard feat to finesse.

Style got a 10. They're right, it's awesome, and correct me if I'm wrong, but the look of the characters is very retro--very 80s style--so I imagine the arcade coin-op's sprites were used (definitely not the NES stuff). Then again, DD "Advance" might elude to it being a Game Boy Advance release. I really hate trying to guess that kind of stuff. But you got a ten, because you seamlessly mixed Mortal Kombat and Dragonball Z into the presentation.

Sound gets an 8. I downloaded all the covers Mr. Kline has on his site. Now I got to see if Galbadia Hotel has the OST... But aside of excellent music, the soundtrack of heavy crunching hits is very nice. If there is a drawback, it is that we're at the point where a little voice-over work--as clean and well-acted as possible--is in order for many sprite movies; the silent film treatment with text only goes so far when you already have sound effects. It's a minor complaint; I don't expect everyone to follow suit.

Violence gets a mandatory 10. The limbs were cool, but the head popping off is even cooler.

Interactivity gets a three due to the scene selection and credits options.

Humor gets a three. It's a pretty dire setup, this story, and there are few direct attempts at humor, but some people might find it funny anyway.

Overall: 10. Don't let the haters say otherwise.

rebaz responds:

"because you seamlessly mixed Mortal Kombat and Dragonball Z into the presentation."

LOL, Mortal kombat , A New one xD

(i realy dont know what you were saying at the Sound part, i hope other people do, my english is kinda fucked)

i wont let the haters do that(..actually i am letting them, but its fun) xD

LATTA!

[The Legend of Link Part 4]

Funny and Charming

Few people know how to tread the line between spoof and heart-warming. You succeeded twicefold.

Graphics got a seven for many reasons. While sprites were applied, they were well animated, and correctly modified for a multitude of animations. However, the screen is tiny... quite tiny in fact... so the reason this wasn't like an eight or nine was squarely due to having to squint or alter the computer screen resolution.

Style got eight for being very, very stylish and fun. You definitely made these with love and care; it transcends most of the sprite movies through reliable writing and voice overs to boot.

Sound gets a ten. Though effects like echoing in certain spots, ambient outside sounds, and other such quirks could have been applied through a free program like Audacity, I never missed them when I heard the voice overs. The lot of you should consider regular voice work, and the acting was top-notch.

Violence gets a four because the only fight sequence and the bad daydream are relatively tame. It exists, but is not a central role in the story.

Interactivity gets a one. There's a "Push Start" button, and the design of the button itself goes to style. The fact that a button exists is fine by me. It would have been nice if scene selections or playback features were involved, but personally I rarely use those features anyway.

Humor gets a ten, plain and simple. The emphasis on relationships and why Link never gets to pick the game's title... these bolster the whole of the hilarity. Including the Rabbit Joint's cover of the overworld theme--almost obligatory given the context--was wise as well, even if a great multitude have used it before.

Overall gets a nine, and this goes for the entire series (didn't feel like critiquing each one step-by-step).

In terms of writing and structure, you certainly got a gift for this stuff. There was the appearance of Dark Link at the beginning that kept me thinking about where the direction would go. After you established how Link and Zelda think of each other, you devised a situation where they might just reconcile some differences. But I still had the feeling that another string of these would premiere, and if not, I'd still like to see where you could take your skills on this site or elsewhere.

Keep up the good work!

Emptygoddess responds:

I think that review is longer than my entire movie. Very thorough.

[Inside The Black Box]

Pretty Good

If this is for a Lithuanian film competition, who really cares? It actually works here, especially the end message that gave me a nice laugh. It's short, sweet, and smooth-running. The technical artistry could be bumped up, but some reflected the style resembled Salad Fingers, so it's marginally better than the graphics score. The sounds are excellent, and the seemingly random plot ties up a little better with the closing remark.

In all, I suggest you keep submitting here.

Daniel4000 responds:

^_^