Neophyte-Ronin's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Mortal Kombat Cheerio old]

FUNNY, but still sucked...

A monumental piece of turd that could have done better if it had been revamped, Mortal Kombat Cheerio is laced with misspellings throughout its text portions (which ran longer than the action almost). Still, it was funny to watch. I mean, random guys and cereal boxes were getting battered by two MK dudes, redefining what being a cereal killer truly is. And the obnoxious cliffhanger in the end? Priceless!

However, I know that song--the piano piece--is derived from Lunar: The Silver Star Story, not Final Fantasy. You better get your facts straight before writing the credits, buddy.

Angel responds:

I think i know what music i used in my own flash animation and it is final fantasy and i dont even know what the silvery star story is SO GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT!

[TmsT's Zero Wing Rhapsody]

Excellent Concept Plagued by Midi Limitation

"Too Much Spare Time" places a smile on everyone's face with the concept of "Zero Wing Rhapsody." However, the limited Midi sound and poor voices slice the score in half. Still, the concept is valid.

Queen is considered "operatic rock"; melodrama plays a key. The flash achieves this visually, but not vocally. Voices fall short of exaggerating the emotion for Queen. It seemed "TMST" "held back," and many will pick up on it.

This must be Midi, but I could be wrong. Whatever was used succeeded with the piano, but not the heavy riffs required during Cats' head-banging sequence. That spoiled the fun.

These seem trivial as a weakness, but they're hard to overcome. Flash artists who aren't musicians borrow from media collections, which works for Newgrounds but few official venues. Worse, studio recording requires hourly fees, and this site's flash artists refuse to shell out money for projects than what's deemed "standard" or "necessary." Going solo has it's share of disadvantages.

However, the sound is clear, so that counts, and the spoof is a cool concept supported by excellent visuals. If the sound gets a spontaneous overhaul, a second "All Your Base" craze won't be far off.

TmsT responds:

Midi limitation was intentional, yes, even the crappy guitar riffs - see original Zero Wing animation; the singers had never encountered these AYB lyrics before and had no rehearsal; nice review though - excellent english tarnished only slightly by a misused apostrophe and a few too many quote marks to sound not-sarcastic.

[Kingdom Wars 3]

Excellent Concept!

A serious short with sprites? Don't make me laugh. No, literally, don't make the people laugh, because this flash is seriously good!

One thing that I thought of as cool was the Hans Zimmer soundtrack, an excellent composer and selection of tunes for setting the mood in a melodramatic war epic. The script, while occasionally stale, shines through in its timing and cinematic sleekness. This tale is in a compact file size, clocking eight minutes of showtime with a good mixture of dialogue and action. And since it is fully 8-Bit retro, that adds to its charm.

Continue with your fourth part (the end of the series, I imagine?) and never be a stranger with other projects in flash at Newgrounds.

hrechkaness responds:

thanks. I'm glad u noticed the Hans Zimmer soudtrack other then the fact that i had it in the credits lol But yeah it was hard to find fitting music for this movie and sry for the stale script at parts im not the greatest writer and was sort of rushing the ending. Don't wory there will be many more flash projects from me at Newgrounds

[FF: Mixed in Balamb2(2/3)]

I Stand Corrected

A stellar improvement over the previous installment, the Mixed in Balamb series transcends the issues of design that made me skeptical about the series' power. The 5-7 team gracefully achieved better results with proper comic timing and expanded the number of cameos of game characters, making for a feast of fandom praise.

I can't wait to see the conclusion, and I certainly can't wait for the official Episode 3. Whatever you have been doing has been planned exceptionally well--something you don't see in flash production so often. Hence, I have to apologize if I sounded harsh before. Keep up the good work.

Oh, and remember to create a recyclable library of images to work with (so you don't need to create so much from scratch all the time). People complain to Legendary Frog about this, but the finest cartoonists embody that technique's best success stories.

Toonimated responds:

:D
yep, we didn't use our library drawings as often, thanks for noticing, just trying to make it better :).

[TmsT's "Up Skit Creek"]

Without a Paddle and Still Gets There... Somehow

This flash compiles unrelated skits that would receive low ratings individually (the quality isn't constant, I'm afraid), with silly, split-second transitional material. Here is a play-by-play rundown:

#1: Washing the glasses of a jerk hitting you up for money after he cleaned your windows without being asked--priceless. (4/5)

#2: Like the creature, the skit drags on too long. (2/5)

#3: If clowns acted like Slipknot fans, they would deserve that... (2/5)

#4: This one rocks. It has nothing to do with the guy's saber. (5/5)

#5: While the pun is genuinely funny, it lacks taste, and the "d00dspeak" reference was simply lame. (3/5)

#6: As a concise, biting study on animation forms and political correctness, this stands on its own without the obligatory underestimating of President Bush's intelligence. (4/5)

#7: I thought it was about Star Wars for a moment... (3/5)

#8: The classic music used for 2001: A Space Odyssey did nothing to empower this worthless skit with its inflated sense of grandeur. (0/5, because even without the Pope being involved, the gag isn't funny enough!)

Overall Score: 3/5. Most are viewed with a grain of salt, while #1, #4, and #6 are the viewer's best bets.

TmsT responds:

Thanks for the ... "review", Mr Cowell, but I would be able to take it a lot more seriously if you were commenting on the movie itself, and not just writing up a list of spoilers for some unfathomable reason. If you didn't like certain parts in it, that's fine. I don't expect you to.
But don't ruin the enjoyment for the *vast majority* who otherwise do. Someday you'll understand, when your obvious cleverness leads you to release movies and have thousands of adoring fans too... a cleverness about which I am starting to have serious doubts considering that among your favourite scenes were the two weakest ones (Crossing and 9/11).


Thank you.

[The Legend of Link Intro]

Should be in the WIP section, though...

Normally, these pieces should be reserved in a WIP section, as a preview (it isn't wise to make people anticipate anything).

You've established a good working relationship with a skilled actress in a fan-fic venture that, judging by the animation, probably won't involve lengthy or complex fights. This looks like it centers on a drama, perhaps something romantic, between Navi and Link. That's my guess, at least. The premiere will probably be much different.

Continue with this project. Hopefully the premiere will live up to what Navi was talking about.

midnightstealthxp responds:

ok, I'll tell you first that THERE IS NOT GOING TO BE A RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN NAVI AND LINK, lol. well, EP1 will have alot more action, but it will have some good drama and story telling too.

[FF: Mixed in Balamb2(1/3)]

Excellent Visual Feast Plagued by Poor Timing...

FF: Mixed in Balamb II's stellar production of visuals and voice casting seems to lag with lengthy produciton times, a hackneyed script (with recycled gags), and lengthy visuals that cripple the Flash's attempts at humor.

The 5-7 team pays tribute to Tetsuya Nomura's style, the artist behind Final Fantasy VII, VIII, X, and X-2, with a paintbrush program and their wits. However, this took four months to create stunning visuals. Next time, employ a "Judo" philosophy into production: maximum yield through minimal effort (e.g., purchase an art program, logically divide the labor, et cetera).

And polish the script with total gratuity--one-liner after one-liner. Not a profanity flood. The timing and frequency, the essentials of comedy, were off. Long-winded cinematics, the production's crux, are somewhat to blame. And awesome voice talents struggled with an uninspired script that borrows too heavily from the original.

And regardless of drawbacks, this Flash is STILL worth the fan's time!

Toonimated responds:

Woah, it's nice to know someone who knows about Tetsuya Nomura!
Your comments are very detailed, helps out, yet, don't be so harsh on us! Thanks for your support and by the way, we shall buy a wacom tablet somewhat later, after finishing this, (2/3 and 3/3)
Keep in touch

[T E R R O R]

Flash as a Political Document?

What others think doesn't matter to the maker of this flash, and that attitude is deadly. Criticizing the American war against terror is one thing, but this flash does so... poorly. Any self-respecting orator of political rhetoric must understand the other side, provide alternatives and evidence, and at the very least show some respect for those who disagree.

This flash fails in all four counts, to a fatal degree. It churns up another tirade against Bush, his supporters, and how they suppress Iraqi freedom (while soldiers die in an attempt at creating a stable democracy there?). This Michael Moore mentality must stop, really. This flash is too one-sided to be believeable.

Both ends of the American political spectrum might not appeal to the newer American generations, but protesting how babies die by American hands in Iraq is how those soldiers will become troubled and hated veterans--that's understood on an historical level. Face it: people will support this war until they have better reasons not to--other than an unpopular president.

PandaStream responds:

A. Micheal Moore is a money making ass
B. Just because it's popular doesn't make it right.
C. I warned you.
D. I love it when idiots try to act smart.

[The Intern]

EXCELLENT!

Now, this is how a flash should be made: long, hilarious, and in minimal memory amounts! The Intern picked up power with each and every joke, eventually making me laugh constantly, and wouldn't END. I expected something shorter with that file size.

Being so talented, you're the first guy I'll ask from this site to collaborate with my brother. He's been diddling with Flash for months and hasn't acquired a consistent, disciplined work ethic (sad, he's a great artist). I won't press anything on you, but I would ask you if you're available, and you ought to take that as a compliment. You're among the elite already.

The techniques used to compress so much in under 1.5 MB would be appreciated if displayed in a summary on the Newgrounds' Bulletin Board System, to be perused by those trying to conceive big epics in little packages. Also noteworthy is sound, which might not be fully clear, but it sings through well-handled voice-overs.

Submit more Flash soon, and know that you're now in demand!

Thatanos12 responds:

Sure! any questions you have or anything, just write to me. But remember that I barely know Flash, and some of the stuff I did was mostly a trial and error thing.
hehehe, and Am I really on demand? that's a first for me :D

[MGS: The Twin Noodles]

The Jesus crack cost you three points

Whoever thought up the last scene's line is a prick who's intestines should be carved out with a wooden cooking spoon. But anyway, everything else is just random craziness, which helps the humor along but not an outsider's understanding of why it's funny to gamers. Even with limited appeal, fans will enjoy this.

El Cid still tops the pack in terms of outright humor, but since you haven't submitted before and have done so with admirable quality, stick to Newgrounds for a while and entertain the masses for a bit. If a request can be made, rip apart any number of role-playing games in the same way: by not concentrating on any central plot, but spoofing all the major scenes.

smiffy-uk responds:

You shouldn't take humour like that so offensivly. Jesus has a sense of humour. =O

Thanks for the review. =)