Neophyte-Ronin's game Reviews on Newgrounds

[Wanna Be A DJ!?]

Cute Gadget

This is an interesting little toy we have here, but it is far from a professional device. It doesn't have to be, because the underlying concept could become something sensational in what seems to be a lackluster presence you have in the portal. I suggest you work at this concept above all others, and advance the concept to the level and personality of a Sound-Board (care to be a Disc Jockey with a sense of humar?)

[MuayThai]

Excellent Fighting Game

If you make Flash Games this good, why not purchase ZIP Disks and back your fucking files up? Idiots like you should straighten out (laziness as an excuse to avoid creating what would more than likely be a masterpiece)!

[Stay Alive v.2]

Solid Fighting Game

This took a while to create, and while it remains solid, it has a few problems. First, sound effects must improve and be featured in every action (this may be difficult and expands the size). Fighting games are made or broken by the sound palette. Imagine landing an uppercut and hearing only a small "tick" on contact.

Second: the fighters can walk into one another and land blows while facing opposite directions. Either add "mass" to characters that will "push" the opponent away or make them flip around one another (I recall in Prince of Persia, characters switched places during sword fights when they got too close to each other).

Third, the game seems easy. I got disappointed that the game may be much too easy to warrant any replay value.

If this is another unfinished product (with a full version to arrive later), then these problems may be addressed. Needless to say, you must be the first studio to utilize Instant Replay, which must have taken lots of code. It certainly is a novelty, so address the troubles above, and this fighter will roll in the fives.

[Proximity]

Excellent Game!

This ought to be in the Gaming Listing under Puzzle/Device, because it can be played various ways and it is fun in practically all of them. This has no technical wonders to yell about, but these kind of games don't require such attention.

Everyone reviewing or voting on this one must admit to themselves that a game at 127.5 kb this good should be commended.

[indiana jones]

Mausland Must Not Live Forever

Mausland's Indiana Jones tribute is admirable, with a Star Wars venue and places even more ridiculous (including an underwater-themed stage). Video game development teams often go to those "Safe, Easy" venues like lava and underwater to flesh out their titles, so mere flash programmers can be forgiven. Still, that place had nothing to do with the retrieval of the Holy Grail.

This Mausland guy is cool. He stays consistent with a style of Flash game mechanics; if you played one of his entries, then you should be familiar with this one. In comparison to his other entries, this flash is safe for the kids.

However, there are several issues. Intensive with the graphics, the game pokes along on high quality settings. Health is reduced when you are in contact with enemies and traps, but Indy neither interacts with his predicament or has a reliable weapon (whip, perhaps?) to combat or simply stun enemies and circumvent obstacles. If you grab a key, you must remember where enemies are (since the game does not pause during the excessively long close-up) so you won't get creamed without seeing.

These seem like minor pet peeves, but they work against an otherwise solid flash game. It's good for about fifteen minutes before moving on in the portal. Remember: set the quality to low.

[Absalom RPG (Flash 5)]

Who Came Up With THIS!?

Under one MB and spanning two missions, with an interesting twist to customizing your stats, Absalom is a Flash masterpiece from a technical standpoint. The reason for a low Size is based upon simple artwork and a small selection of music, without other sound effects. Kinsman stayed pretty conservative and kept with the effects he knew would work for a Role-Playing Game.

And there is no question that Absalom is one of the finer Adventure Role-Plays in Newgrounds. The mechanics are fine and the challenge factor, resting upon careful management of your "deck" to strengthen stats, is tremendous.

Later versions of Absalom underwent changes that improve upon the system. However, the spinoff Demonstration title, Absalom Dungeon, bares little similarities to it's counterparts. It even has a difficulty setting (something most Role-Playing Games overlook). Personally, I believe the original system worked fine and didn't need an extensive overhaul as seen in Absalom Dungeon.

Absalom has a storyline centered around the elements of card suits. In typical Role-Play fashion, Absalom's universe revolves around such elements, separating itself from other games. It is a nice touch in style that one might not expect out of a Flash game.

Kinsman should get working on completing Absalom soon, because his fans are waiting patiently.

[AD&D Engine - Fighter]

The Black Knight's a Loony

Monty Python references aside, this game is exactly why Dungeons & Dragons became the cornerstone of all modern Role-Playing. The Japanese form (popularized by Final Fantasy) tries to contain some of the randomness associated with game mechanics. They also have stories and melodrama and things like that. Granted, Final Fantasy is cool, but not an authentic Role-Playing Game. On the other hand, AD&D is still a workable, fun Role-Play that should not simply be overlooked and considered "Old School."

The last game made by Rob Supersonic that involved the AD&D System SUCKED @$$, but he redeemed himself with this one. This game is just one-eighth over one MB, so imagine what we can have if he stretched Newgrounds' limit of five MB! Then we would have a full-on AD&D game, my friends. (Or, we could have a fully-rendered 3-D Black Knight that can lose all his limbs as you fight!)

[The Suspicious Cop]

Interesting Premise

The Lusty Barkeep was also an interesting game. Frankly, I don't see how this has a "Mature" for Excessive Violence. Apparantly, some moron at Newgrounds forgot to add "Drug Content" to the list of offenses that would stop a parent's ticker.

Anyway, The Suspicious Cop is an interesting "Choose-Your-Path" Adventure that has none of the gratuitous depravity of others like Star Trek: TNG Adventure or Planet of the Apes High. Highly recommended, and hard to beat!

[Dragon Slayer (demo)]

Try Harder

Since you're going out of your way to devise a Flash Role-Play Adventure, let me make a few suggestions:

First, the fighting mechanics are based thoroughly upon chance. There is no way of avoiding either fighter's attacks, so the frequency and power of those attacks are really the only things that matter. Skilled tacticians understand that not being hit (i.e., not making mistakes) is the only way of securing total victory, for it means beating one that is already beaten. Frankly, the combat system demands an overhaul and must be fairer in the final version of the game.

Secondly, the game's story started out alright--the premonition schtick and all--but I still didn't get why the apple dealer was toasted by a demon that started bleeding all over, turning into a dragon. A greater attention to detail is not only requested, but totally necessary.

Finally, and forgive me for asking this: how come a demo gets into the list of Adventure games? Did you manage to finish the game already? If so, then where is it? Did it get blammed or what?

Nothing personal, but if you hope to devise a Role Play, be sure that the game allows the player to make decisions and not be hindered by chance-based risks. That's just gambling, and skilled players hate gambling.

[Britney make Up]

Pretty Damn Nasty

I cannot understand what the fascination with Britney Spears is. Sure, she is a corporate-generated bimbo with an innovative, customizable rack, but an old saying about advertising and commercials on television is poignant:

If people ignore it long enough, it goes away on it's own.

Lose the fascination and move on with your life, and Britney Spears (perhaps even her blindly-devoted cadre of fans) will ultimately vanish into obscurity where they rightfully belong. Remember the old woman with the phrase, "Where's the Beef?" Eventually, she died off. "All Your Base?" Distant memory. "Wassup?" Something that wrongfully interrupted the Superbowl and, for some stupid reason, managed to make fun of images from Final Fantasy VIII.

Back to the game review (if one can call it a game), it ultimately sucks major ass. You cannot do anything to improve upon Britney's face, the image is badly pixelated, and all the options transform her into one of four screaming lunatics. It did spook me the first time it occurred. She happens to sing a little better than their screaming. The whole joke is lame and a further testament to Drugfilms' overall poor quality. And Britney's poor quality.