Neophyte-Ronin's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[GIMME DAT BUTT]

Way to break the deal, Casablanca.

I bet there will be a flood of shit animations that use this track. Keep your fingers crossed.

You made my day, either way.

DruoxtheShredder responds:

Oh, i can't wait to see them.

[Technical Math Metal]

HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA HAAROFL

Two months for this? Get out of here.

(Post-Script: ALTACCOUNT!)

CockRider responds:

Maaan, I don't know what you is tawking 'bout daaawg.
This shit is fo' real and I've been offered a record deal and shit but I turned it down because I need to grow, not only as an artist.... But as a person, Neophyte... As a person.

[Star Wars Metal Medley]

Fuck you, you're GoreBastard and you're fucking with people.

One of the really fine musical TROLL! routines I've heard in a while, which also put a tear in my eye. It's that bad. It actually takes a different talent to un-learn what you've learned and make it deliberately sloppy, and only splice in decent parts that immediately revert to the previous SHITFEST this really was.

Only on the Summer Solstice would you ever hear a CockRider track, but it's actually pretty welcome; we need assholes like these to wake us up from all the serious business that transpires throughout the Audio Portal. In terms of prior jokes, this one is actually pretty well-made and guaranteed to get a few uninformed critics to seriously think that this guy has been playing for two months. Honestly Gore, what would this site be without you?

Can I stop holding onto my socks? Actually, I was never holding on. Someone's got to have the eidetic memory around here....

[Gungnam Metal Style]

Wait... I don't fuckin' get this. At all.

And don't try to help out, either. It'll just make shit worse.

Doesn't detract from solid production and, uh....

[Jiido No Shuugeki (cover)]

While not a fan of Big Dipper Fist, I find this to be a perfect adaptation for what is one of the most irresponsibly goriest things to come out of Japan, and not a single thing from there since then matches it. For everything that could be considered a minus (e.g. the drums are basic) there are plenty of plus signs scattered throughout. It's also one of the cleanest tracks I've heard from you in a long time. Hell, it's one of the only fuckin' tracks I've heard from you in a long time; what's keeping ya?

This is the complementary introductory score to any sensible bad-ass such as ourselves. Thank you and Good-Night.

GoreBastard responds:

Cheers dude! Yeah, I didn't want to go overboard on the drums. For the most part, I pretty much just copied what the original did... That, and my drum samples still suck balls!

Thanks man, if you ever get into any trouble, think of this tune and bad-ass your way out of it!!

[HAMAISHA - Misery (demo)]

Far from what you used to do, except for those long intros (like from the Nightmare tracks), but hey, this is pretty solid for a demo. The end is a bit rough though. I never, ever imagined you were collaborating with a woman vocalist, because that takes it to a whole other level. It's very different.

I always enjoyed your work and wished you'd stick around consistently, because there are sparks in the back of my mind that said your tracks would make a video game soundtrack sing. Such is your skill. It's been like that for well over six years. Everyone around here should give props--you deserve them.

It's hard to say what else is going on in the intro. I really don't get what compels the man to suicide before the track starts up. That can be an issue, a glaring one at that, since the embedding is possibly too subtle. People will wonder what that is and try to fast-forward the track instead, if they listen to the track at all. It's a good opening track on the album, being so solid, or near the tail end. Either way, the intro needs more addressing than the song itself.

Oh, and don't get a supporting vocalist for this track. Maybe other tracks, but please make the endeavor to stand out amidst the rest of the modern scene and have someone who isn't screaming every other lyric. Overall, good job, cheers and beers and hope you have lots of children.

Demon-Slayer12 responds:

Thank you my friend, I enjoyed reading that!
These are the kind of reviews that I like. Open, and straight forward. I agree with you on the intro, thats why we tried writing the lyrics to explain why he did what he did. The background sounds needed to be brought forward more, but I wasn't the one who mixed it so I had no control over it lol.
And this is intended to be the intro of the album, it really sets the pace for what comes after.

And I agree with the screaming background vocals, I don't like doing that. I'd rather singing than someone screaming nowadays. And we have harmonies in other songs, one that is a dark lullaby which I think people will like, its very haunting.

I appreciate the constructive criticism, this will only make the final product that much better!
Cheers!

[Elegancia - Spell Flash]

Nobody reviewed yet? Since when do all the really good metal musicians come from France or are French-blooded? Ah, forget it.

If this is the first tracks in the Elegancia project, then I don't think you NEED to join a band, period. This is flat-out incredible. All you need--once you consider touring--are some good session musicians, so scout around anyway. Promise Newgrounds you'll give a heads-up about the tour when it happens, okay?

[Fade Into the Obscure]

Why hasn't anybody reviewed this? What are they, fucking retarded?

This is pretty slick. You should promote yourself before other hard-asses like Gorebastard and Bad-Man-Incorporated. Try Xenogenocide and Metaljonus. This isn't so bad if it's on par with guys like them. It's also melodramatic, bombastic, like a good hint of classical thunder inspired the progression.

Five Material. Download-Worthy too.

ElektrikWizrD responds:

Haha thanks man. I would but those dudes are super intimidating, hahahaha.

[Zero Divide - Demonised]

I recall this riff from a previous track, like either The Deep South or that "Back in Black" spoof, a very groove metal-inspired riff. So yeah, this ain't fucking new at all. It's just something that got done up right, because it deserved it.

Metal!

[B7 - Tomahawk]

You scalped the audience. In a good way.

Very reminiscent of Pantera and Groove Style, with a tendency to thrash very hard. No cowbells, thank God. Overall, it's one of those pieces where you picture a scene in your mind of constant brutality or a crazy action scene, like a fighter jet doing kamikaze on the lumbering giant robot heading towards the city center.

In other words, evocative of hardcore imagery. Very well done.

Burn7 responds:

Hey thanks dude! Hah, it's kinda funny... I never really considered Pantera one of my influences, but after listening to the song again with your review in mind it really does sound Pantera-like and very groove-metalish.

Thanks for your review! :D