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First, 1direction required a search on Google. Not everybody is going to know who these guys are if they don't listen to top 40 radio stations. Second, the fan is identical to any other fan of anything else in that she subordinates reality for devotion. This is a timeless tale of anybody, so the 1direction aspect should be disregarded in full. Besides, boy bands are not a recent trend and these guys are nowhere near Beatles territory.

"every 1direction fan ever" should be "every fan ever" by virtue of stereotyping fan behavior and mannerisms. It's a morbidly obese girl whose distorted face and pectoral control verge on being inhuman. She dwells in a hellish fire-pit of her own making and constantly disregards her mother's chiding that it is past her bedtime (9:00pm?). She exhibits demonic traits and tackles her mother.

Sound mixing is a severe issue; headphones are not allowed while watching this. The pectoral gag is perhaps silliest of all, although I failed to laugh at it. Everything else... you can figure that out for yourself. On the flip-side, it is fluidly animated.

This is by no means perfect, but as an indictment against boy band fans, it's as generic as they come. "every 1direction fan ever" is not good enough to garner acclaim, but not bad enough for you to disregard. Like a boy band. Mediocrity is infuriating like that, no? Of course, a whole series of skits featuring fans of different venues (everything from Slayer to Newgrounds) might improve over time, assuming Tristious wishes to undertake a more ambitious endeavor.

Shouldn't this be under the Game heading?

Sound quality is good, although it's tricky to figure out how to use this one to prank-call someone. There is no catchy intro that pulls the other line into the conversation and gets them interested.

ZanderRBR responds:

It's not as much as a tool for prank calls right now as it is a tool for Red Bar fans to enjoy Stanley-isms. I went though a bunch of episodes to get these clips and these are the result of cutting out about 250 other clips that I deemed not usable. Sorry if its in the wrong section, I've never used this site before. I do plan to eventually go through every episode Stanley is on to get a better arsenal of clips. But that's a long term plan that will take me months.

In a nutshell: summarizes everything.

Perhaps the most painful realization I've had about Newgrounds parodies is that, for the life of me, I cannot tell when it's going to stop. Does anyone remember glam/hair metal? I equate the rise and fall of Glam/Hair Metal in the 80s and 90s with the Parodies seen on Newgrounds.

Look it up, on YouTube if you have to. I'll wait. Okay, fifteen minutes, you back? Let's start:

A bunch of snarky artistic/geek cultural hustlers came together and devised a means of controlling means and fame on this brand new site that awards quality cartoons and games made through a nifty Internet content generation program called Macromedia Flash. They assumed that most people are stupid and will get a laugh, rise, and hard-on from almost anything that pokes derisive fun at their preferred intellectual properties, and by doing so they can get a load of people clicking five on their creations. This causes instant gratification upon release, for no matter how awful the thing looks, it will get accolades because of comfortable familiarities invoked by the piece.

But, like anything with mass appeal, somewhere there is a breaking point. In the case of Glam Metal, it was the saturation of it. When Music Television found certain acts like Twisted Sister appealing, they signed whoever could top those guys. So, you had idiots dressing as women and singing about love and going acoustic (which pissed off the Thrash underworld to death), and somewhere, the message was lost in a bid to market something. Just like when X-Men hit at the box office, everyone sought and bought up every marketable comic book property possible, and in due time, saturated the scene with all manner of comic-based superhero films. Now ask yourself if you remember any X-Men movie past the second one with any fondness.

So the Greasy Moose have established a formula from all the Newgrounds/Internet Parodies: draw a popular character, put them into any oddball situation, watch people point and laugh, rinse repeat. Of course, one of the chief issues with making so many parodies (and you could probably view this through a few of our guys here) is that the audience expects that shit--or anything like that shit--and you find yourself typecast in a way, not to mention begged to continue placating their demand (or addiction) without establishing yourself as anything beyond that range, and thus a credible author with original material as well. The other issue is that using such characters beyond a parody might not be constituted as fair use, because at some point, you receive some form of benefit from it, even if it is not an immediate monetary benefit; people will buy your originals by associating it with your parody portfolio.

You can't help but feel a little bitter that your artistic integrity is now thrown into question. It's even worse when you are already bitter enough that you take your aggressions out on established characters in shameless, irresponsible, derivative ways.

Sexual Lobster has managed to pop the whole fackin' balloon in one deft stroke, from the monotonous musical number, awful singing, ridiculous animation that mirrors every overused foible in the written scripture, to the sheer fact that most of these imbeciles are emotionally hollow with zero empathy and deserve to fucking die in a black hole of their bitterness. What more can you possibly ask for in a cartoon?

For its size and scope, "Parody Parody Parody" is a fairly slick, well-animated send-up and a horrifying wake-up call to the folks around here and beyond that there will be a growing movement of Grunge (something that ain't quite parody) that will sweep away any appeal that the old hair-bands had and expose them for what they truly are: bitter, cynical sell-outs aiming for the mass appeal and failing to regard anything else that's already conceived as a mere source of derision. And I doubt it'll be a movement where we just sit around and pick on the fact that nothing is sacred anymore. Who knows. It might even be actually funny.

Sexual-Lobster responds:

re: your last paragraph there's a gold rush going on for parodies on youtube and i can't see it stopping any time soon.

there are some great parodies that add to the source material or strive to make some kind of social or political point, and some are just hilarious even if they use some of the cliche ingredients listed in my film. i don't want to criticise them, and i hope people don't stop making these types of films. i only want to criticise authors who make unimaginative parodies to make a name for themselves.

also.....you don't like my singing??? mmnaw.

Less horrifying than it is just a load of Dafuqness. And I figured "Angel Corpse" would be a great title for something else that's, well, better....

Keep practicing, I guess.

Fuck yes.

I hope there's more where that came from, man.

After reviewing the legend provided by the link, I concluded that the tale is about civility and accepting oneself and others' strangeness. It's not too difficult to understand, although there's a massive clash of what we generally expect animals to behave. But animal behavior is not the point. This is all about getting mocked over nothing. "Coyote and Rattlesnake" is another in a series of cartoons by Warlord of Noodles that brings you back to when Flash was damn fun to watch.

If you read it or watched it and you're still not sure, here's the essential story: after Coyote invites Quetzalcoatl (pronounced Ketz-al-coat-al) to his home, he is appalled at the odd requests of his new friend, enough that he decides to emulate (with half-asked flair) the creature's strange antics. However, Quetzalcoatl had prepared for the Coyote's arrival by preparing things based on his customs, including the soup, and is so tickled by the guy's carrying on that he struggles to refrain from outright insulting him with his laughter. Being an adaptation by someone with her own stock of original characters, there is a little running commentary among the Warlord's personal retinue, which breaks up the need to follow the story perfectly. It was also a dirty excuse to incorporate anthro furries and such, but that's beside the point.

One thing the Warlord continues to this VERY DAY to struggle with is with sound mixing, since everything remains muffled to some degree. Also, solid as the performances are, mispronouncing "Quetzalcoatl" threw me off a great deal. There were moments even in professional works where a lot of voice-overs are involved, and one of them manages to throw you off. It should be noted. Still, the southern voices tickled the living shit out of me.

Aesthetics are often a matter of taste, but this is a delicious, aromatic affair. The guys, hate to break it to the anime enthusiasts out there, are a bit on the thin side (note: I've been watching the Primalords/Primal War series recently, so a comparison was bound to happen), yet it's a colorful, oddball world that goes straight to the point and ignores all the clutter. There are a few effects, such as entering the thick, tall grass, that needed some extra effort, but for the most part, the characters have an obvious life of their own, well-animated overall and with a very simple approach. The Warlord might not be a student of Adam Philips, but she might not have to be, really.

As for the actual adaptation, I've poured over the story and the cartoon and must say the cartoon is a pretty faithful adaptation. What will throw people, of course, is that one seems to resolve, the other does not. Even if most everything clicked, the payoff wasn't very lucrative; the Coyote had to end up leaving without any dinner, defeated in his scheme to make Quetzalcoatl look bad, and set out to fend for himself. You know... approach Kitty and complain about his failure. That would really make her happy, huh?

This has a few flaws, but nothing severe enough to undermine another production by the Warlord. If the sound can get out of that muffled phase....

Warlord-of-Noodles responds:

Thanks fer the fair shake, wall-o-text man.

Even if you don't win, Pahgawk, this one's a winner on many levels.

It's a classic tale of a man's refusal to accept death, and Death's refusal to accept this response with almost every person he confronts upon their deaths. Then it takes a twist and leaves you wondering what the beginning of a new journey will take this forked and overworked being.

Being a rushed entry made in a timeline with little time to spare, the background layouts were minimal and the voice-overs were performed at different houses for inconsistent results come mixing time. The frame-by-frame, despite occasional shakiness, appears to be a great success, as two white eyes go a long way to establish the character of someone hopelessly going through the motions. In short, this is one of those cartoons that you'll wish to be remade.

I believe the correct term would be existential rather than ethical, although either applies.

What will throw people is that Death is the Protagonist and not the Antagonist. He's doing a service for the greater scheme of things. Then, he gets fed up with the absurd refusals of each person he meets and is introduced to an interesting notion: why not die himself? Would that not change how things go, or just eliminate a middleman that people will only argue with? At least he could address his grievances, or maybe find out where he guides the fallen, as he does not know where they end up. That's deeper than usual, and should be recognized by the viewer.

Everything is served with a reasonable measure of humor that, while hit-and-miss, manages to avoid the typical Newgrounds pratfall of becoming over-the-top or risque. It's actually reminiscent of cartoons seen on daytime television, devoid of the Adult Swim irony and self-deprecation. It's comforting to know that "Everything by Everyone" still includes Pahgawk's brand of wit. It's not perfect, but it's better than not perfect AND depraved.

If anything, I hope this guy wins. Even so, "Alive" should be considered one of the greats on Newgrounds and, to wit, deserves a remake more than Pico's School does.

Yawn. Then again, I just bought (and read in a single day) the entirety of "Black Hole", so you're up against a lot of weirdness. Then again, this was pretty fucked up. So what should I rate it as? Well, it's not quite a graphic novel, but it's a perfect Halloween entry that transcends the Treehouse of Terror series that they put out every year.

Okay, so this is just a random assortment of scenes inspired by the Creepypasta Myth of "Dead Bart", an exaggerated and very false conception of how such an episode would play out. By the looks of the whole setup, the original myth of the forgotten episode must be pretty gruesome. This is but a tasteless parody that ups the schlock to eleven and never lets go. Once it is done, you will laugh out loud. For its badness.

Such is the case here. Granted, the animators actually had fun for a change, and when you gratify yourself with the hilarity, it never does a worse therapy than anything. It's a labor of love, deal with it. It's not the greatest either, as they point out--not their personal best, but something required of them to accomplish--and some of the scenes and effects actually turn out to be unsettling in brief moments. It's certainly not for the squeamish, or anyone seeking out themes or plots. The theme is pretty much a horror/satire, poking fun by virtue of its excess about the non-existence of a lost "Dead Bart" episode of The Simpsons.

Does it work out? Yes and no. The lack of polish and the utter crack that is of the source material congeal into a hot mess of epic proportions. This will make you pine for the third through seventh seasons, assuming this was an actual modern Simpsons episode. Kudos to the credits roll that, aside of its spliced easter egg that freaked even me out, featured a roll of names that included the late Phil Hartman as a Special Guest Star (who then became a regular contributor until his death). That should tell you what kind of Simpsons fan that Flikker and Fonzie are.

Look up Creepypasta and relevant wikis for more information. I've said enough.

Part of a greater potential project called "Manwhore Industries", Chris Voigt's Greasy Moose have done it again. This is where storyboarding with a cartoonist background pays off in spades, people: watch and learn.

Adapted from a comic found on the Greasy Moose website as usual, Fernando has contracted an STD and finds himself at the center of a web of sexual intrigue that hits closer to home than he wishes to imagine.

With the rate at which new Greasy Moose material debuts, it should be established that the so-called "Sexual Lobster" has attained a pattern of consistency akin to the Neurotically Yours web cartoon series. In other words, his repeated and constant cartooning and development, performing his own voices and doing all the major work, has made him into a competent, affable gentleman whom we can take hints from.

"Manwhore Industries" also has another cartoon that could be adapted into a series. Politely petition Mr. Voigt whenever possible, because some of these are too goofy to pass up. Oh, and they are not goofy as in stream-of-consciousness absurd, like much of the Greasy Moose world; there often seems to be no true binding to the segmented, capricious plotting, so it's an adult variation of Looney Tunes that has no consistency except for the general traits of the characters. None of the situations they get themselves into seem to pan out with any repercussions. In other words, Greasy Moose lacks any core of realism or sequential consistency to it.

The cartoon that Chris linked up in Entry 53 can work as a Flash, but here's a lesson on adapting cartoons: you have to edit them. This one has an initial subplot that establishes Manwhore Industries but lacks a stunning punchline: Gooseman discussing with Fernando about the latest Music Video (quite literally a nod to the ones displayed at Newgrounds and that Fernando does have a legitimate business). Afterward, the hilarity ensues. Now, if I were Chris, I would either slice down the opener or rewrite it, perhaps lengthen and adapt it into a separate cartoon in the same continuity, while keep the remainder for an actual cartoon. Reworking and planning the comic in question for animation may prove a bitch, but don't slap Mr. Voigt for trying. In "Contagious", he has his priorities straight as the whole comic rests on a single theme carried unto the end with flair and sass.

As for future installments of "Manwhore Industries" assuming Mr. Voigt cares to continue them, I would recommend installing an actual antagonist, and it's on display at this site: the law. A three-part cartoon featuring Gooseman and a seductive undercover police detective on his tail for body harvesting (a recurring theme in his motif). Combined with maintaining an illicit business and inter-office politics threatening to destroy them inside-out, and you have the semblance of an actual episodic comic or animation series. I suppose the drawback is keeping a continuity/consistency bible because Greasy Moose, other than general character/caricature profiles, never seems to do so.

It might not fly with the Sexual Lobster, but it's a given that he has the capabilities to create a brilliant series out of this set-up. He has the abandoned office building and the three crazies who can make something out of it. It's just a question of whether he wishes to pursue it or not. In any event, Contagious is an excellent adaptation of a comic and classic example of escalation and punchline working together flawlessly. Say what you will of its content, but you cannot deny its ingenious execution. The Greasy Moose are the sexiest guys and girls on Newgrounds thus far, with all due respect to Mr. Stamper.

Sexual-Lobster responds:

"a competent, affable gentleman" haha i like that.

i have to agree regarding the manwhore industries comic, it does not end on a solid punchline. and it would require some knowledge of fernando's music career to make sense, what with the music lyrics and the yoghurt.

i have a massive fernando story that i've written with a very formidable antagonist, but its very long and action heavy, i might tackle it some day but not any time soon.

as for the manwhore industries scenario, i have come up with several other scripts for shorts set in the building other than the comic, but i guess i'll wait and see how this one does. also, i should probably make another manwhore song at some point to remind people of what its about.

glad you liked it and thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts on it.

Stickman CAN'T Fight is the antithesis of countless stickman movies, in which there is a central conflict aside of survival and a parody, or hook, that makes for an interesting watch.

The central premise is that there is a stick figure who willfully refuses to engage in bloody combat with anybody and has the uncanny ability to survive countless gallons of punishment, even from those who have taken it upon themselves to nurture his development as a warrior, or indoctrinate him into becoming just another stick figure plunged in a Newgrounds Flash.

While not the most fluid or visually engaging feature--though close-ups of the sticks between their frame-by-frame brawls provide a good departure from most authors' stick figure beat-em-ups--it relies on slapstick, buffoonery, casting the poor wretch as a whipping boy plunged into a setting where he must evolve or die. Or, does the world have to evolve? Goofiness aside, I got something else out of this series and it is this: if Stickman can't fight, it might be because he won't. There's a difference. Perhaps this wimp is actually a pacifist at heart, or perhaps someone who finds no reason to fight, someone who recognizes the futility and banality of his world as nothing worth fighting for, including himself even, being the whipping boy.

The only thing I could advise guitan11 about is that his tale should have a reasonably complex ending, which explores the reasons behind this useless Stickman's lack of motivation. Will he ever learn to fight? Will he reject this tutoring and refuse to participate in this frankly coarse world he is subjected to?

You can also observe the "Black" character as someone unbreakable by his sheer stubbornness. He isn't stupid, just overwhelmed by what goes on around him. Everybody accepts it at face value and takes it for granted, but he probably feels no compulsion to join in. By his refusal, he becomes both tragic and heroic at the same time.

Unfortunately, there hasn't been a clear message from the author outside of watching a guy foul up repeatedly when learning how to fight. After at least seven entries into the series (unless previous episodes were broken up as well), "Stickman Can't Fight" should have some kind of message or resolution dawning by now. If there are no further developments to the characters in the seventh episode, it is fair to assume the author has run short on ideas and is running this gag into the ground. It would suck, considering the premise is novel and should receive a solid execution.

"Stickman Can't Fight" could be above the fart jokes and visual gags the series exemplifies thus far. The spotty dialogue should also be amended, which includes the balloons paraded over characters' heads. We patiently await Episode 7 to prove me wrong that this cartoon series is becoming nothing more than the sum of its flaws.

guitan11 responds:

this is quite the review. i have never had anyone take these animations this way.
like any art form, it allows the viewer to give it its own interpretation or meaning. i do have a purpose of making this and a goal. but what you get out of it is entirely up to you bro. as long as it makes you laugh, think what you want :P

When one is drained of all humor, anything beautiful is met with one of two things: disdainful worry or worrisome disdain. Anything ugly is met with violence. Flash is complex and beautiful, not a toy. Keep that in mind... or things get ugly real quick.

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