Neophyte-Ronin's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[LL-Awards]

Give the Lock Legion a Cookie for Good Effort!

At least it ain't spam.

Most crews on Newgrounds get type-casted into delivering said refuse but this is actually okay. It's a cartoon, with a plot, punchlines, tension, and some absurdity.

In "LL-Awards", Samegame Lock has produced a good chunk of flask material but is at odds with the Legion's recognition. Can Sunshine Lock assuage the wounded ego of one of his growing talents?

This is a good demonstration of a sit-com episode and not of a typical crew submission. It is small in size and to the point. It even features a workable running gag, a sort of non sequitur corresponding to a character's perceived involvement and actual inclination. It's a nice callback that served as mortar between all these little bricks, and is a handy example for other flash artists, including those who are leery of a crew's inconsistent portfolio.

Some of the music could have been changed so as not to risk copyright issues but it fit the mood in what I could call "flawless dissonance". Typical "Speakonia" voices dub the whole experience, although I have noticed several instances where the subtitles do not exactly follow what is heard. If subtitles are meant to help deaf people enjoy the Flash, then it better be accurate. I doubt they are intended to be a gag in themselves, judging by their presentation in the Flash. Profanity was pervasive, as if the comedy leaned upon it being like that. While the Flash has the timing and it can crack plenty of smiles and laughs, some might consider an excess of profanity as a writer's crutch and vote lower than they normally would.

Also, the pronunciation of "Samegame" was botched by the Speakonia. I think it's supposed to be pronounced as the two words Same and Game. If that were the case, typing the name with a hyphen between the words might help ("Same-Game"). Then again, I might be wrong in how it is properly pronounced.

In all, "LL--Awards" delivers some good comic mischief in a short run and demonstrates Flash's ability to generate a silly cartoon with just a few props, tweens, and rhythmic timing. There are plenty of flaws, but rough diamonds are worth more than rocks any day.

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[Note - the use of the "F" word more than once, along with general pervasive language, demands a "Mature" or "R" rating for the cartoon. Nothing personal here, just adhering to MPAA guidelines. It might be a good idea to switch the "T" rating to the "M" just to better represent the content.]

CourgetteClock responds:

That is one substantial review right there.

Thanks for the feedback bro.

[Cats and Mario. Whaaat.]

Short, Sweet Parody

"Cat's and Mario (WHAAAT!)" is, for what it's worth, a nice tribute to a game that doesn't use all the sprites from it. Sort of rare to incorporate utterly original sprites for this purpose, so Inswivnia gets a nod for some innovation. The ending kind of blows, however, perhaps from being rushed along under short notice. No excuses, though--that could have been better.

The best part is that it's a short cartoon, so even the most miserly of critics cannot really complain about such a miniscule amount of their time being wasted on what they consider a subpar effort. It's not thrilling, but if you despise it, it's over real quick.

Note: if this ends up enshrined by all those morons who post stupid photos and videos of house cats acting stupid with stupider captions, then it will be a case of point in why the Collection Recommendation feature is a powerful feature. This is, by definition, a video game parody. It is not Newgrounds' next Catface. Okay?

[The Moustache]

Doesn't Suck

Even if there was a deadline to meet and production was a pain, "The Moustache" is a trip worthy of Looney Tunes. How so? Facial expressions and total lack of shame.

Our heroes must consult an expert regarding a bizarre happening at the store. Will they shave it off in time?

"Turn Your Volume Down--"

AAAAAAAAAAH!

This is just stupid. Really stupid. Really funny, too. Barely even noticeable? Talk about a laughfest.

[Just in a Park]

Silly

Just another day in the part and suddenly a bunch of mouse-drawn pokemon ruin grandma's day.

Keep practicing. This isn't very good, but I got a kick out of the humor anyway.

[Velociraptorism]

What are you, the Church of Scientology?

Cute. Real cute.

At least it's not another one of those ASS-DUFF movies. This proves beyond reasonable doubt that 10-Ton Entertainment can transcend the stupidity of past releases and come up with a tall tale for the ages. The pace could be quickened though, and the stiffness of the voice talents ought to be shaken off. Other than that, this is nice.

RageNineteen responds:

I really don't know..quite how to respond to this. It starts out with a REALLY condescending tone, then infers that I've only ever submitted asdfmovie3 to my account even though I have about 5 or 6 good movies in there but then turns into genuine constructive criticism and compliments?

Thanks...I think?

[judgement day may 21 2011]

Party Like it's 1844

God this looks like one of those stupid ass-duff movies, like their version of a religious epic. It's also a waste of time, because once again it derails religious types without putting any real thought into it. Just point at, defame, move on, eat, drink, sing and be merry for tomorrow has no end, and blah blah blah.

It's time to end this shit. Besides, it's irresponsible. The last thing you want to do is laugh at the wisdom of the ancients when you don't have a clue about what they were actually saying. That goes for people who misinterpret (often literally) holy scripture. Seems a lot of people just miss the point.

The people who wave signs that the world will end often do so because nothing is infinite, everything collapses and, for them at least, something has made them reconsider their old assertions about our mortality. There's a lot to be said about someone who anticipates horrors and one who lives without a care about the future.

Why May 21, 2011? Got a more magical date than that? There's a thunderstorm tonight where I live. I don't think one of those is the beginning of something called the "Rapture". It's just another minor miracle we can only study but never truly duplicate. The world will end when it wants and we can do nothing to stop that. The only thing we can do is quit bitching at each other over who believes what. That way, OUR own little world might actually be saved.

Post-Script: This is okay. It should never have used music from Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars, but it works. This might even get Front Page and, if it does, hats off to you. Whatever. I still say it could have been better than just another ASS-DUFF movie. Kind of kills the message, right?

captainTAICHOU responds:

message? what message? I think you are looking too deeply into this. I watched Naruto, ate some chips, made a flash about judgement day and then i masturbated for 5 minutes.

There's no message in this video, trust me.

[::Roommates::]

Nothing Special, Just Half-Smile Worthy Fun

Just to be sure, the use of the "F" word twice, spoken or otherwise, warrants an "R" rating according to the MPAA (in NG terms, a Mature, or "M" rating). Freakin' is okay, however. If it's used once, it gets a PG-13 (aka "T").

Now that we've squared that away, I must say that, while the sounds are low in volume, they are both clear, with solid voice-overs. It's a cute sit-com skit with the emergence of a prismacolor elder goddess to boot. While it's nothing extraordinary in terms of visuals, it is actually a good example of flash cartoon design. It's also low in file size (considering Flash is meant to be that way), so props to that. The use of pixels, on the other hand, is raster in action; smooth vectors would probably reduce the size and make things look even better. But that's neither here nor there.

Given the compact time frame and ease of creation, this can be a fair series if you put efforts toward that. It's a little too much like Bert & Ernie (which summarizes Destructo Box, come to think of it), and by that I can safely say that I'm happier without roommates. Far happier. Stick with what works with you, but don't be afraid to try something original.

ViolentBuddha responds:

Thanks for reminding me to change the rating (totally forgot about that bit of written language towards the end of the skit) and that insightful review. :D

[Smashin Brothas]

Hooked on the Brothas ("DO THE MARIO!")

Yeah, I dunno who did that song... except the Mozart one. That one's obvious.

Rambojoe enjoys making grotesquely distorted caricatures of video game macho men, or at least providing voice-overs. This parody went a bit too long and lacked very good sound mixing--everything is so muffled!--not to mention you keep expecting the characters to actually do something awesome or at least decent to each other, but it's sort of anti-climactic in that regard.

It's also a bit off in terms of its facts. Snake doesn't use automatic rifles in SSBB because the developers refused to integrate them. High explosives, on the other hand....

Yeah and the soundtrack gets in the way. Unlike other parodies of its ilk, "Smashin Brothas" has a bad background music. It's so bad as to drag things down with it.

The animation is also pretty whack. That adds to the charm, but it almost gets to the point where things are just funny in a bad way, like "Turd of the Week". Granted, it isn't offensive (even censoring the profanity, which also adds to the humor), but it seems as though they just made something awful just for the sake of it being awful. At least the character expressions are timeless. They really drove plenty of nails into Snake's coffin.

This parody is so over-the-top that it ought to tickle the game fanatics a little bit. Kostou and RamboJoe have another solid piece in their hands and, according to Kostou's profile, two weeks ahead of schedule! That's a change of pace from all the twinkletoed scutsmokers who can't get stuff through deadlines....

[My Sonic Tribute 2]

Not as Evil as the Last One

I never heard the "N" word so much in one Flash, but the sexual content is gone. This is such an awful tribute to Sonic that it's hilarious. It's in deplorable taste, a mockery of all decency... and it features a good depiction of Egghead playing the working stiff. Soundtrack provided by NWA.

Good God, if this doesn't get Turd of the Week, I dare not imagine what can....

[It's over, Marcus!]

Too Late to Consider THAT, Buddy

Suicide Prevention Week is always a blast. My favorite web comic character, Yuuko Ishida, was born from this week.

This is a nice anti-suicide flash. Light-Hearted and without the traditional crass attitude of other cartoons. And yet still hilarious.

P.S. Look up Sapoman in the Audio Portal and listen to his song "Knife". It's a more serious approach to the subject.

Steinberg responds:

Just went to Sapoman page and he have some great work, thanks for showing me him.
Also I'm glad you liked it, thanks for the review!