Neophyte-Ronin's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Cats and Mario. Whaaat.]

Short, Sweet Parody

"Cat's and Mario (WHAAAT!)" is, for what it's worth, a nice tribute to a game that doesn't use all the sprites from it. Sort of rare to incorporate utterly original sprites for this purpose, so Inswivnia gets a nod for some innovation. The ending kind of blows, however, perhaps from being rushed along under short notice. No excuses, though--that could have been better.

The best part is that it's a short cartoon, so even the most miserly of critics cannot really complain about such a miniscule amount of their time being wasted on what they consider a subpar effort. It's not thrilling, but if you despise it, it's over real quick.

Note: if this ends up enshrined by all those morons who post stupid photos and videos of house cats acting stupid with stupider captions, then it will be a case of point in why the Collection Recommendation feature is a powerful feature. This is, by definition, a video game parody. It is not Newgrounds' next Catface. Okay?

[Just in a Park]

Silly

Just another day in the part and suddenly a bunch of mouse-drawn pokemon ruin grandma's day.

Keep practicing. This isn't very good, but I got a kick out of the humor anyway.

[Velociraptorism]

What are you, the Church of Scientology?

Cute. Real cute.

At least it's not another one of those ASS-DUFF movies. This proves beyond reasonable doubt that 10-Ton Entertainment can transcend the stupidity of past releases and come up with a tall tale for the ages. The pace could be quickened though, and the stiffness of the voice talents ought to be shaken off. Other than that, this is nice.

RageNineteen responds:

I really don't know..quite how to respond to this. It starts out with a REALLY condescending tone, then infers that I've only ever submitted asdfmovie3 to my account even though I have about 5 or 6 good movies in there but then turns into genuine constructive criticism and compliments?

Thanks...I think?

[judgement day may 21 2011]

Party Like it's 1844

God this looks like one of those stupid ass-duff movies, like their version of a religious epic. It's also a waste of time, because once again it derails religious types without putting any real thought into it. Just point at, defame, move on, eat, drink, sing and be merry for tomorrow has no end, and blah blah blah.

It's time to end this shit. Besides, it's irresponsible. The last thing you want to do is laugh at the wisdom of the ancients when you don't have a clue about what they were actually saying. That goes for people who misinterpret (often literally) holy scripture. Seems a lot of people just miss the point.

The people who wave signs that the world will end often do so because nothing is infinite, everything collapses and, for them at least, something has made them reconsider their old assertions about our mortality. There's a lot to be said about someone who anticipates horrors and one who lives without a care about the future.

Why May 21, 2011? Got a more magical date than that? There's a thunderstorm tonight where I live. I don't think one of those is the beginning of something called the "Rapture". It's just another minor miracle we can only study but never truly duplicate. The world will end when it wants and we can do nothing to stop that. The only thing we can do is quit bitching at each other over who believes what. That way, OUR own little world might actually be saved.

Post-Script: This is okay. It should never have used music from Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars, but it works. This might even get Front Page and, if it does, hats off to you. Whatever. I still say it could have been better than just another ASS-DUFF movie. Kind of kills the message, right?

captainTAICHOU responds:

message? what message? I think you are looking too deeply into this. I watched Naruto, ate some chips, made a flash about judgement day and then i masturbated for 5 minutes.

There's no message in this video, trust me.

[::Roommates::]

Nothing Special, Just Half-Smile Worthy Fun

Just to be sure, the use of the "F" word twice, spoken or otherwise, warrants an "R" rating according to the MPAA (in NG terms, a Mature, or "M" rating). Freakin' is okay, however. If it's used once, it gets a PG-13 (aka "T").

Now that we've squared that away, I must say that, while the sounds are low in volume, they are both clear, with solid voice-overs. It's a cute sit-com skit with the emergence of a prismacolor elder goddess to boot. While it's nothing extraordinary in terms of visuals, it is actually a good example of flash cartoon design. It's also low in file size (considering Flash is meant to be that way), so props to that. The use of pixels, on the other hand, is raster in action; smooth vectors would probably reduce the size and make things look even better. But that's neither here nor there.

Given the compact time frame and ease of creation, this can be a fair series if you put efforts toward that. It's a little too much like Bert & Ernie (which summarizes Destructo Box, come to think of it), and by that I can safely say that I'm happier without roommates. Far happier. Stick with what works with you, but don't be afraid to try something original.

ViolentBuddha responds:

Thanks for reminding me to change the rating (totally forgot about that bit of written language towards the end of the skit) and that insightful review. :D

[It's over, Marcus!]

Too Late to Consider THAT, Buddy

Suicide Prevention Week is always a blast. My favorite web comic character, Yuuko Ishida, was born from this week.

This is a nice anti-suicide flash. Light-Hearted and without the traditional crass attitude of other cartoons. And yet still hilarious.

P.S. Look up Sapoman in the Audio Portal and listen to his song "Knife". It's a more serious approach to the subject.

Steinberg responds:

Just went to Sapoman page and he have some great work, thanks for showing me him.
Also I'm glad you liked it, thanks for the review!

[PSN is Down?!]

Going Under FUCK!

That's why I always purchase a fall-back game that doesn't need network play.

Not everybody can be the next Egoraptor, and this is proof. It comes close in spirit, though. A cleaner microphone and doing multiple takes for the voice-overs would improve the sound quality a great deal. The animation and artistry is shoddy. The wall graffiti doesn't look right; next time, use the free transform tool to shape the wall exactly according to the perspective so that the graffiti distorts accordingly. This is one of those cartoons where perspective work would really lift up the visual quality.

And perhaps it is with a sense of irony that the transition sound effect is the "1-Up" fanfare from Super Mario Bros., a Nintendo product. You don't notice it at first, but there is that sense of company disloyalty that stems from frequent maintenance fiascoes. Then again, everyone will laugh along with the Tourettes sufferer who endures them. Look for the little things, people.

Xaude responds:

You make nice points there man. Thanks for the tips.