Neophyte-Ronin's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Trash and Clash ep 1]

Excellent Storytelling Technique

This would certainly make for a different kind of series on this site.

The only real gripe I have is the lack of voice acting--only quacking sounds and text make up the conversations. But the wretched little girl was well performed, though somewhat stiff (not very).

This has excellent potential for a series unlike any other cartoon on the site. Few are considered serious shorts, and this one is tough to call (considering that dog got maimed). However, I'd say this one's a serious short. It showcases two souls alienated one way or another by the society they fall victim to. It almost sent a tear to my eye.

I almost didn't review, much less even watch this flash due to the title--it's a misleading one, and you get so used to utter garbage being submitted. I'm glad this one proved me wrong for once. Keep up the good work, and I'm looking forward to Episode II.

Comick responds:

Thanks! I'm glad you did review it in the end, it really motivates me try better and address what I can improve for the next one.

[...To Revive Aeris]

The Revival Shit... Whatta Waste-a Time!

I prefer Aerith dead anyway; my fanfiction sort of requires her to be a kick-ass Guardian Force, an Einherjar that does all the reviving after the wickedly evil good guy does all the heroic killing (savagery?). Let me know if you ever want to read it.

This was narrated pretty well. In fact, it was the best sort of game code show I've seen in Flash, ever. Let's face it, someone needed to offer a good send-up of those insane revival rumors about Aerith. She's a lot cooler dead, anyway. Sound, however, was still a little shaky here and there, a little inconsistent.

But hey, it was well-written. It's almost required to rip sprites and images for the proceedings, and whatever artwork was made appeared too plain to speak of. Some jokes were a bit on the lame side, but not severely. Interesting to note some mild interaction through clicking on the right button during intermissions, and how you picked on your own flash for being long (you actually recommend a piss-break halfway through...), because I don't see that all too often around here.

I still say you could end up doing this for a living if you keep at the artwork end of it.

Dily responds:

"my fanfiction sort of requires her to be a kick-ass Guardian Force, an Einherjar that does all the reviving after the wickedly evil good guy does all the heroic killing (savagery?). Let me know if you ever want to read it."

DO I?! Please send me a copy!

I've said this many times in the responses to my other flashes, but...THANK YOU! AGAIN! Your review is very appreciated!

[I Remember Tingle...]

Nifty, Nifty, Nifty!

This was pretty cool--I remember Tingle from Majora's Mask. He could be one greedy punk. This was wry and ginger, through and through. Hopefully it's part of the official Zelda collection, somewhere....

There were plenty of mild problems. Artwork is simple and straightforward, and that is okay, but tweening, the thing you did to avoid having to do things by frame, did NOT look right, especially around the shoulders where they sometimes strayed somewhat off of the body (this in reference to the arm animations that helped shape the character's actions and reactions).

I recall Link is left-handed, and always has been. Lots of people get this wrong--you're not the only one--but a little known observation I realized from reading about it in the 16-bit age is how Link is, in fact, left-handed. He drew from his right.

The sound is another difficult problem--too soft. If it goes too low, your audience is bound to miss certain lines and cues that enhance the experience. In this case, it was difficult to pick up the lines, making it hard to follow. That's bad, especially since I could pick up how well-acted the show really was.

In all, you have what it takes to create funny cartoons in flash. Carefully noting the quality of the sound and making sure your tweens aren't too screwy will certainly improve your technique. If you're confident, try some mild frame-by-frame tricks--nothing full-body all at once, but be aware that tinkering with the character's objects into various schemes will keep the file size low and the possibilities for presentations high.

Dily responds:

My, I've read all your reviews, and they are sooo helpful! Thank you! This one was animated pretty quickly, mainly because I wanted to get something out there before I had to go back to school...I get down when I have to go long periods without "flashing". HAHAHA!! But I will definitely experiment with the animation techniques on a few bigger projects I have planned. Baby steps, I always say. Practice, and one day you will be good!
Once again, THANK YOU!! You don't know how helpful this truly is!! I appreciate the time and effort that went into watching and reviewing my movies!

[Misplaced Turnabout]

It Made me Smile

Anything that makes me smile automatically gets an approval. It also made me grin... and then it made me laugh. And you had silly puns and jokes lining the credits, so that made the experience even better.

It was cheeky fun. I'd recommend you keep at flash. Problems include pacing and lack of voice acting, which might actually be cheeky even if you couldn't get a flawless performance from everyone. I'll check other submissions to see what you're made of.

Dily responds:

Haha, your review is very kind. This was my very first flash. (Umm..submitted flash, I should say. My REAL first flash...well, the Pope, the President, and the Dalai Lama has asked me nicely not to speak of that again...) I look back now, and think of how little I knew...and how much I've learned. Like Movie Clips! I'll be damned! Who knew those could be useful?!?! Anyway, thank you again for your wonderfully helpful reviews. "The Big Fat Tutorial" (as I saw in your "Flash by ..." box. Made me say "Hooray!" when I saw it.) has been an extraordinary resource in my Flash endeavors.

[(Old) T.F.A.A.o.M. Intro]

You've Improved....

After watching your music video, I've realized that this submission is a perfect precursor to it, which incorporates much of the style and the talents used by the later work.

Graphics are a six.
Actually, I'd put three or four, since there isn't much to it, and you use ripped images in the sequence, so some signs of laziness show.

Style is a Seven
Honestly, you can just see the kind of characters you'd later create for the music video with this scant piece. A series you never made... but anyone can tell that you adopt a clear cartoon style in flash, and that you used this style later. If you pursued the series, it might actually have been good.

Sound is Ten
Once again, you not only kept clarity of music intact (wise choice nowadays), you also made sure that everything is synchronized. The little things you watched would indicate this as a perfect strength, especially when crafting the music video.

Violence is Zero.
Nothing but freak accidents as far as I can tell....

Interactivity is Zero.
Just a single button. I don't hold that against you.

Humor is Zero.
Ah, it's just a series that never came to light. I can't tell if the characters are outrageous or anything, and I never judge books by covers.

Overall is a Six.
With a little more effort, it could have went somewhere, but it's fascinating to watch and see how you went about developing the music video that hit #1 of all time. Watching one while analyzing the other proves that you've improved considerably. Again, I hope you're not quitting while you're ahead with Flash.

RWappin responds:

Actually, I probably AM still going to make this series. The intro you see here is only a mere shell of what it's going to be though.

Thanks for the review!

[Albuquerque: THE MOVIE]

Did Al Contact You Yet?

This has to be one of the toughest things to let pass ("I Hope You're Not Using Dial-Up!") but you got #1 and you're in the top 50 of all time. While that might rapidly change, Lord knowing that thing has to even out after a couple of months, the fact that you captured #1 at all has to be of some relevance on my next question:

Have you contacted Al about Albuqerque: THE MOVIE yet?

This is something he ought to have on his website (just because!) and you might even be able to get some money. Well, maybe not, but it sure would be a vanity while pimping flash talents to an agency or animation shop that you did, in fact, get Weird Al's attention about an excellent piece of work. Pat yourself upon the back and keep at it.

As for the submission itself....

Graphics are a Nine.
Why? Well, it all falls into place, though it does seem kind of simple. Fortunately, it is perfectly synchronized with the music, including the lip synchronizing. The only reason it's not quite a ten is because, at times, it does seem kind of plain, or lacking of detail. Then again, do people really care when they're having this much fun?

Style is a Ten.
It's got the perfect cartoon edge to the whole thing, making this an excellent demonstration of your skill and flair. I certainly hope you're working on another Flash project.

Sound is a Ten.
Not because of the choice of song (can't quite go wrong with Weird Al, really...), but because it actually sounds right. There's no muffling or excessive file size reduction. It sounds crisp, it sounds clear. It sounds awesome. Best of all, as per the classic style of music video, you did not bother to insert additional sounds (none that I could readily tell at least), so you ride on the song itself to convey the imagery. That can be difficult for some people. For you, it's a matter of course. For an Al song, it should be easy to generate ideas, but you make it look even easier than that.

Violence is Ten.
I recall some gross moments. It's either a 0 or a 10 for me; if there's blood and guts, ten it is.

Interactivity is Zero.
Sit back and watch the movie. Interactivity is not necessarily relevant here, anyway.

Humor is Ten.
What else did you expect? Some lame-o complaining that you ripped off Weird Al or rode his easy sails or something? That isn't the case here; to convey imagery from a piece of music is hard whether or not there's any narrative or goofiness entailed. You don't see too many music videos at Newgrounds, since not only must you pick a song and compose a decent set of images, you also have to restrict file size and other contemptible little things. Collaborations are even harder to sell. Sufficed to say, you kicked butt with this sucker through perfectly interpreting the insane imagery of Weird Al's epic about Albuquerque, and let's leave it at that.

Overall is a Nine.
No, make that a TEN! I haven't seen too many music videos that even come close to rivalling this one. Anytime you set a standard to be followed or (by luck, maybe) surpassed, you tend to deserve nothing less.

RWappin responds:

Wow! Nice review. :D

To answer your question, Al didn't contact me yet, but I'll be psyched if he does. I don't really know how to contact him...

[Icons Ep 1]

Just seems average...

While objectively well made, this packs little beyond exploding children, a Minibosses soundtrack, and possible greatness installed for the future. This "pilot" would not sell too well to actual network executives, since it leaves a miserable first impression.

One problem is voice-overs. They aren't wooden, but technical issues immediately surface: poor mixing and quality. Adjust the clips to 24 kbps for voices and 48 kpbs for the music. In the background, use a single, muted, streamed audio loop to maintain animation speed. Streamed sounds are muffled, but force the animation to keep pace with what's happening.

Another problem lies in the script. Randomness does not equal funny without some hand-waving (quick explanation to move the script forward). Many jokes (except the Duck Hunt Dog) land gracelessly upon the pavement and grind your faces against it for fifty feet or more. And the material is uninspired; these jokes work with precise timing, but otherwise, it did not make me laugh.

Also, if it's not uninspiring, it's hackneyed. You're lucky the NG drones still buy into irony and cynicism, which dominate the site's philosophy on comedy. This flash continues that trend and follows the motions by the numbers.

And a personal gripe: you didn't introduce all the main characters, a cardinal sin for series pilots. Once again, I detect irony and cynicism. This young woman in the cast intro never made an appearance. Whether it is a failure to notify and recruit a female voice actress before production, or you deliberately tease the audience into false expectations of what's to come... you fail on both counts.

If this sounds harsh, it is. I'm tired of flash shows that parade sardonic twenty-something white males as if being a smart-ass wins you the lottery. Still, I would be infinitely impressed (and relieved) if you set out to utterly prove me wrong in the future. I don't wish for you guys to give up before trying.

2 out of 5 for decent effort.

TheTreeman responds:

your comments are duely noted, and while ive said this accouple times. this is more of an animated comic strip than a cartoon. and hopefully in time will cement itself as and original series. not introducing all the characters was decided do to the fact that there was no real place to fit every person in. and rather than just introduce a person for the sake of there in the intro credits, i felt would of been to forced. i thank you for the info on fixin the sound. cuz as much as i tryed nothing worked so thanx for your comments.

[Willium]

Not terribly clever...

When will these flash artists just grow up? In the Star Syndicate, we can count on a good idea being run completely into the ground, or a bad idea being run completely into the ground.

A previous Syndicate flash derailed "EMO" people. This one derails goth people. You know what? We need more flash that derails Locks, Clocks, and Star Syndicate people... if only to be fair.

If you have to complain about goths, look at it like advertising: the more you ignore it, the more it goes away.

TwoStar responds:

oh arent you the charlie drake

[Metal Gear Solid STS's 2]

Not that funny!

NOT THAT FUNNY, YOU SAY?

I think you underestimate the power of the Dark Side of the Force.

That was, again, pretty damn goofy--firmly in line with any self-respecting spoof. The coconuts thing seemed a bit out of place, though. I know interrupting your flash for commercials is sort of your motif, especially with that L'oreal ad in the previous Snake Tale, but honestly... coconuts? That was Liquid there, right? That's just dumb. I suppose you're critical of that, but everything else was perfect ("Read... ALL my thoughts? Well...").

Click a five...

Because she's worth it!

CiyFox responds:

Juat s note, not it wan't liquid, he was Coconut man with coconut girl, i had a funny song i did for her, but it would of ment me sining, not a good thing. lol

Thanks for the review.

[Mortal Kombat Cheerio old]

FUNNY, but still sucked...

A monumental piece of turd that could have done better if it had been revamped, Mortal Kombat Cheerio is laced with misspellings throughout its text portions (which ran longer than the action almost). Still, it was funny to watch. I mean, random guys and cereal boxes were getting battered by two MK dudes, redefining what being a cereal killer truly is. And the obnoxious cliffhanger in the end? Priceless!

However, I know that song--the piano piece--is derived from Lunar: The Silver Star Story, not Final Fantasy. You better get your facts straight before writing the credits, buddy.

Angel responds:

I think i know what music i used in my own flash animation and it is final fantasy and i dont even know what the silvery star story is SO GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT!