A Bit Too Messy for a Game
There is a lot of noise in the form of background effects and voice-overs, much of which is marring the chief riffs and melody of the song itself. There are also chiptunes (or an approximation thereof), although that doesn't make for a game track.
To grasp how they used chiptunes and other limited sound-fonts, listen to old games by Sunsoft and Konami. Blaster Master, Castlevania, and even the NES version of Batman are great places to start. Round it off with Fester's Quest and Contra, paired with The Goonies II and The Immortal (Will Harvey; this one's released by Electronic Arts and appeared on many game consoles and PCs). All of these games contain very complex arpeggios and techniques, despite limited hardware, and the tunes were insanely catchy regardless of their limited instrumentation.
I get the idea that this song would work elsewhere, like on my CD while driving to work, or on the dancefloor, but not in flash movies or games. There is that sense of chaos, but some sound clips become repetitive, thus ruining the sense of chaos.
So, this one is old and hard to sell. Look on the bright side: you've improved considerably.