Neophyte-Ronin's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[Funk Ass Motherfucker!]

More Blues & Country than Funk....

...But I don't give a shit so long as it loops and sounds seven-eighths toward absolute coolness.

That's because most assholes only get halfway to absolute coolness.

Excellent job, asshole!

Bad-Man-Incorporated responds:

Man if you could have seen me rippin it, with that fucking "sharpie magnum" as my slide...that would raise it to absolution, my friend.

Woo..

Thanks again\m/

[Mac8 - A Long Time Ago]

Nice Work

Pooling into emotional veins isn't exactly emo... or well, neither intrinsic nor exclusive to the genre. I thought emo by definition exaggerates emotional sentiment to the point of being ludicrous melodrama even with insignificant things. Frankly, I can do without most of that stuff receiving radio play. On the other hand, I prefer musicians who are able to communicate with their music rather than trying too hard to be clever. I also enjoy musicians who routinely release even the dorkiest material. In essence, I deeply respect the sheer chutzpah you have in spades (and clubs, because hearts and diamonds always deserve a firm routing).

The only complaint I have is simple: ditch the drum loop. Honestly: you can get away with making really pretty music by minimizing percussion to light cymbals, a mild triangle, or a tambourine that isn't struck, only stirred and not shaken. This drum loop actually competes for attention--attention that's strictly meant for the mellow guitar. I can imagine a complete removal of the drums and this song would fare better.

It's only a suggestion--no need to follow through; it is quite good as is--but take it from a guy who listens to his mother prattle on about folk music for hours on end: some ideas stick to the psyche... and in the eardrums (no pun intended). Of course it went without saying that this is fluid and lovely, which is rare coming from you.

Keep rocking.

Bad-Man-Incorporated responds:

Thanks very much. Folk music!? They still have that?! OMG. I hear ya.
The drums were really added last minute to "cover" the annoying buzz from my shitty fucking amp...as I really wanted to record more from an amp on this...than direct.
But then.."BUZZZZZZ" FUcking fuck. So I threw in the hat and snare thing. You are definitely right. I'd love to redo this, but I'd have to remember how to play it. And I closed that part of me, for now. haha.

Thanks again for another kick ass review.

[pt 1. of new song-Metaljonus]

Excellence

Well, I have listened to this through and through and I keep wondering when you are going to finish it. I swear the lengthy acoustic intro is just the proper intro to an excellent cinematic action sequence, but without the other two parts, this piece can only go so far. I already have a general understanding about where to take it... but seriously... all I can say is: finish it.

Take it as a compliment when someone says that; they insist on hearing a little more!

Metaljonus responds:

Thanks for the kind words man! but my comp crashed and lost alot so I can't finish it. it fucking sucks but I want to rewrite somethings in the next 2 parts but it will take some time. thanks again!

-Mj

[-Orr- Vitality]

Clean, Energetic, Cool

I've noticed that your MBs for this song is 3.3, the song lasts for 3:33, and the number of reviews (before this one) is a number divisible by 3.

Of course, the song kicks ass too.

[Necro (explicit language)]

I'm Amused and Perturbed

Hey, you know that Sexy Losers comic has a necrophiliac named Shiunji Watanabe whose dead cadaver lover comes back from the dead with the sole desire to murder his sorry ass?

...You and I ought to go out on the town once I move out to Australia. I bet you'd find me cute enough to murder, too!

Okay, stupid jokes aside, this is totally bad. Someone will make it into a music video in NG (probably Stamper). That's testament to your ability, though not quite your psyche. I doubt you'd actually go through with this stuff, as it is just an evil satire.

...RESPECT!

[Rip-off medley]

Whoa, what the hell?

Well, yeah, you made my day. This song is absolutely out there. I'm still listening to it loop at max volume inside an apartment complex full of old women. I'm astonished, that's why. All I ask is for you to actually write the lyrics in a reply or something because someone will get the crazy idea to actually make a flash out of it. It's definitely music video material, a satirical one at that.

Xenogenocide responds:

No problem man,

The lyrics:

(random brutal death metal shit)

ROOOOOOOOOAAARARARAARARRRRR!!!!!!!
Weed in a bong is the only way to
Get high and masturbate to this shit song
Feel my cock pour cum so slowly in you
It's filthy, cheese-riddled and spongey and long!

(random funk bit)

Yeah! I don't know the words to this song
I'll just make it up as I go along

(SLAYERRRRRR!!!!)

ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
The devil's gay!
I can tell!
The way that he looks in my eye!
Dildos!
shoved up my arse!
enough to make you burt out CRYYYIIIIINNNNG!!!!

(Red hot chili peppers)

Charlie's making me
Charlie's making me
Charlie's making me horny, woah! - By the way he's a guy.

(Slayer again)

ARRRRRRGGGHHHHH!!!
Suck my big fat metal dick!

(Metallica bit)

James fuckin hetfield, I'm james fuckin hetfield, I'm james yeah yeah, yeah!

(crappy funk bit)\

I hope you enjoyed this crappy rip off of all these songs... and I don't even know why I'm talking in an american accent!

(Nirvana bit)

Ahhh that's good smack!

I'm a druggie!
I take smaaaack!
inject it in!
My butt crack! yeah!

[Dark Age]

Hate is Nothing New

This song rocks. I know it will become a staple of all really evil bad guys' themes when an audio portal-savvy flash animator sets out to create a flash. God yes, I think I'm going to use this sucker for something... evil...!

You only got a 4 in Originality because expressing hatred over jerks isn't necessarily new. The song itself is very effective in what it does, though all the effects might be a little trite. Still, the cool samples, clearness of the sound, and the efforts all give you a well-deserved ten.

P.S. I vote zero only on absolute garbage. I've never known you to make garbage of any kind (I incidentally voted five because it can fit in a falsh just so easily, especially the crescendo and ominous end!).

Bosa responds:

A truly great mind is right here, folks. Neophyte tells it as it should be told.

That's right. We need more people like you on Newgrounds.

[EMO PARODY]

Captures it Perfectly

Okay, I rarely ever listen to alt-rock stations because they inundated the airwaves with this kind of disgusting crap, only that stuff is serious and this isn't.

Were you drunk when you did this with your buds?

After like eight plays while eating oatmeat at 4:33 AM in the fuckin' morning, I sat down just to keep myself from laughing and choking.

Whenever you get the chance to murder someone's style of music, please do so in an orderly fashion.

This is the shit.

P.S., once I get a script and some drawings done, I'm contacting you about voice-overs as promised.

[FUCK BATMAN!]

Don't Get It

I don't know what the joke is--other than the title--but I suppose you're trying to wreck the soundtrack to the latest Batman movie. Tell me otherwise or simply explain this... I didn't quite get the joke in the song itself. I did like voicing the song's title repeatedly in the presence of little children, though.

The review is a lukewarm one because the clarity is soft, the church-bells are kind of cliched, and it all smells of cheese. Solid effort, though the collection here has better stuff to chew on. Seven Overall...

Beegeezee responds:

True this one reeks of cheese. I kinda regret making it but this song is a great way for me to gauge how far I've come along in music. And proof that the old saying "You don't Always make the Hits" is still true.