Neophyte-Ronin's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[The Journey-Metaljonus]

It's "their" NOT "there"

I bet you were angry when you made that mistake. I'd be too--they're zero voters, after all.

This one starts out without the traditional wankfest and has a distinction as being hardcore or radio friendly hard rock. I don't hear enough Mustaine or Hetfield, although some stations have a "Mandatory Metallica", so I don't get to hear a lot of wanking on the radio, not like there used to be. While your catalog is full of awesome wank, it is this song that runs the best chance of achieving heavy air time... which is ironic, given your setup.

Still, the fact that I'd suggest radio in my review should clue you in to the track's quality. It's not the best mastering, but Death Magnetic and Black Ice are albums that suffer a similar dilemma but still rake in a killing at the music store. Always consider that while you're aiming for the big time, Jonus.

Metaljonus responds:

Ah typo's happen LOL. I guess it could be radio rock friendly haha. I appreciate the comment on the quality! At the moment I really just have one good working ear. so my mixing is'nt the best. Thanks for listening!

[Awakened-Metaljonus]

A Love Triangle Destined to End in Tragedy

This asshole ConnieB wants to marry your fuckin' catalog. I bet you a Franklin a good portion of the voters--Zero Voters included--want to marry your catalog. If this asshole marries this song, I'll be the jealous ex-lover that shotguns the both of them. Fuckin' loser....

Just kidding. This song rocks, of course.

Metaljonus responds:

imma use that for a song title lol. watch

[Solus- Night of Longing]

Hot!

Sounds like jazzy erotic background music, which encompasses everything from dancing to copulating. It would involve a great deal of romance, foreplay, and none of that "Get Out Bitch" flavor from the man, no matter how rigged we are to have such grotesquely opposite priorities. Quite frankly, if one of us pulls himself together, Newgrounds will have its first softcore porn sequence to boast about, helpful or hurtful for your reputation.

This has a slick production, although the volume is a bit high....

SolusLunes responds:

True, the leveling is something I'll eventually get around to fixing...

eventually...

:(

man I'm lazy XD

[Solus- Lol Comedy]

This is Someone's Theme Song

If you wanted an effective sound effect of burping, try my brother. His name is Helbereth, and he has submitted through several flash collaborations and also produced a promo animation for our alleged film division, Intrepid Corsair Films, which involves him belching at the very end, shaking the symbol down. He can burp on command--rusty, but it's like riding a bike. Send a PM his way if you want to do this sort of bullshit on a routine basis. By all means drag us into your horrible conspiracy!

SolusLunes responds:

Ah, I don't do nearly enough comedy songs.

But if I DO decide to go on a hardcore comedic jag, I'll do just that. :D

[Shores of Tigris]

Next Installment: Whores of Euphrates! (or not...)

A bit soft on the ears and it could use some equalizing to draw out the flavor of the psychedelia, but this is a creepy, crawly creature of awesome. In its present form alone, it could serve as background music for a video game. Slick work, buddy!

Xth responds:

Uhmm, good idea actually. I'll def make a "sequel".
I thought psychedelia was a good thing! But anyways, glad you liked it. Thanks for the review/score!!!

[Driven-Metaljonus]

Driven to Try Something Different (You Rock!)

I don't understand how you don't care much for this one... it sounds just as well or even better than some of the tracks you've recently released. Those tracks lack the polish and the bass and drum work that this one happens to have. Actually, this one is pretty damn cool.

The fact that I often review the stuff that I also DOWNLOAD should give you some smile on your face. I might download without giving a reason to the author, but for some guys who've been ticking for a long time, I have to.

By the way... on your "Pezuzu" submission, who performed vocals? Just curious (and if the answer is terribly obvious, then I'm also retarded).

Anyway, this track tries different things, and that's the sign of a competent musician. I ain't slinging shit at Xeno for trying Ska or Funk genres because I'm not so shallow as to think that people should stick to just one thing. It's the way I play Devil's Advocate for Metallica.

Now, if you ever took up a different position in a band... somewhere other than killer leads... then I wouldn't hold it against you. However, lead guitar is your strength, especially your technically proficient and wild-on-amphetamines solos. The passion and latin vibe pulsing through each note doesn't kill us, either! If you left to do rhythm or bass, or drums (positions I would fill, should I take up music late in life), then I wouldn't hold you to anything, or criticize you. You're developing as a musician, and that's it.

The O Voters are the kind of people who bash Metallica's Load albums. They think you should stick to lead guitar, and Metallica to straight-up thrash (something they happened to pioneer). But if musicians, artists, and especially doctors didn't bother to try out new things and learn and stay adaptable and current, then their skills would wane and become forgotten, hackneyed, or worse, lives could be lost (in the case of doctors). It's important that you try things out or find new ways to mess around.

Post-Script: This song is awesome!

Metaljonus responds:

Holy crap that is alot to read lol. I appreciate the long ass review. It would have been better on one of my serious track hehe jk. This track is more of an idea than a song. Yeah its like 3 min long but I know I could add so much more to it. And will probably do so here in a month or so. I kind of wanna take my time with the track to really write out an epic ass song lol. I am defentily growing as a musician, trying new things/ideas out every other day is pretty damn fun I must say. Why stick to one genre when there are many others to explore! That's how feel a musician lately.

Zero voters can die, I can never really understand why people do that because of music. Music is'nt a competition. Its about the freedom to express oneself in a certain genre or many different genres. Since music so damn express and progresses everyday with new and exciting or not so exciting ideas, it is still music non the less.

About "Pezuzu" one of my good friends and ex singer sung that track. With the help of the other guitarist at the time Shane doing the growls. Good song I miss playing it. But hey what can you do? Thanks for the in depth review.

-Jon

[Beeeeeees!!]

This is a Cock Rider song

Put it in your joke tune account, dumb-ass. It'll still get a fucking ten out of me, but then I'd know it's just another chainsaw-the-dark-matter-with-a-herri ng song.

Voted Five and laughed, because you and I need both.

GoreBastard responds:

Hahaha, thanks man. I was actually thinking about putting it in CR, but decided to put it here instead because more people would listen to it if they saw GoreBastard.

Thanks for the words mate!!

[Rucklo's impirical jam]

U N S E T T L I N G

Finally, an ambient track (first half), and a gritty ambient electronic/electric on the second half. This is definitely a game-worthy track. The whole company of jerks ought to be proud.

I gotta keep going, too, if I want my games to give this music the justice it deserves.

Bad-Man-Incorporated responds:

Thanks muchly man.

[Eater of Gods - Eternalreich]

Name my Baby

Cause YOU ATE A BUNCH OF GODS, YOU ASSHOLES!

Kidding. No naming my babies, punks. I don't like the idea of raising Satan, Dragon, Lucy, and Cth'ul'hu.

This is MindOverMatt's chunky bass track that I STILL HAVE for some God-forsaken reason (because I love you twirps, that's what!), topped with frosty Eternalreich whipping sause and a sweet salad cherry. Of course, they had to go and slice someone's boner off, then chop that in half length-wise, to accompany this elder god sonata (an A B A of destruction, horror, destruction). In any case, everything works, even if the recording seems a little muddy and the drums are soft. Reich's guitar work overpowers everything, although suggesting otherwise makes me look blind to his whole idea!

Yeah, well anyways, uh... right. Hail Satan. And shit. Well actually, fuck Satan. Seriously. Asshole owes me money.

Eternalreich responds:

Name your baby Neostophiles-Xthanathulumadon-Krozmod ien.

You always leave kick ass reviews, good to hear from ya. Matt provides me with the raw steel that i use to shape awesome metal with. That fucker inspires me a shitton to up the par on my shit for sure. Gotta get my ear right on these mixes though. its kinda my downfall rightnow.

[QoE Title]

Excellent Score for... well...?

So... when's this game coming out, buddy?

Bosa responds:

It'll be out sometime in the near future. The release date has been recalled, along with the trailer release. I'll still keep the public informed on the progress however.