Neophyte-Ronin's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[The Hell Are My Legs 35]

Stop

This is just stupid.

Just... no.

For three years, "The Hell Are My Legs" has been a staple of a nutritive Newgrounds diet like Cheetos are for a pirate on a long sea voyage. Hopefully the joke becomes old in the author's mind and we can all miss this series like a heaping dose of throat cancer.

[BussDee Production INTRO]

Lost My Interest After Two Seconds

Okay, I got to be honest with you: That's NOT a good production intro strictly because it takes ten seconds and is obnoxious to look at during that time. A production intro, unless it's really animated, should not take more than five seconds. If I had to watch that stupid intro for each movie I wanted to watch that involved you in some way, I would eventually desire to chew my neck straight off my shoulders. The graphic design is sound, though.

bussdee responds:

Yes you are right. Can you make me a better one? Just 5 sec i can use to add informations if needed ?!

[How To Dance]

Shameless

One word: epilepsy.

[Shitless.ru (advert)]

I Love Horror... Don't You?

When are we going to make a site like that? I mean, every country ought to have a site like that. And every single one should PAY COLGRAVE SOME FUCKING MONEY to animate their advertising.

This captured the essence of horror stories, fictional and real, while giving a comic edge to the ordeal. It also illustrates posting, submitting, satisfaction from doing so, and tempts viewers to try the site out. That, by definition, is good advertising. This is also a good effort even if it was just a regular Flash, although without the context of it being an ad, some people might complain about losing the plot or story in translation. Also, Felix's trademark style fits perfectly as a comic macabre soiree, but its peculiarity pretty much whitewashes all versatility from it. In other words, this is not for everybody, and that trait is a deliberate one.

In all, this is a nice Flash to show someone when they don't think it's a great animation or drawing tool. It ain't Burtonian, but it's more than sufficient to convey to an audience the greatness of a site like "Shitless.ru".

[Love Today]

A Wonderful Video with Two Apocalyptic Issues

First, it doesn't play throughout the whole song. Then, it loops without stopping music playback. Those are major problems. I don't know how empathetic or forgiving your Flash class is, but around here, those are blam-worthy offenses. But the sheer cuteness and wholesome romantic mush might just grant you a small following, provided you either fix these bugs or keep up the good work in your submissions, or both.

myoneandonly responds:

Well, as I mentioned to someone else, the reason it doesn't play through the whole song is because the class assignment was to animate to 30-60 seconds of music (it's a beginning Flash class, so a lot of us had never even seen the inside of Flash before this), but I can understand the standards being higher about that here. I'd love to animate the whole song when I get a little more accustomed to Flash.

And you're right, there's no excusing that freakin' loop at the end - I fully plan on stopping the video and adding a playback button as soon as possible.

Thanks for the review, I'll definitely take the advice to heart.

[My random life ep1]

Bugged

The soundtrack loops after the movie plays once, without me touching the play button again. Consider revising.

It's not utterly horrible, but it can use a little extra polish. At least there's a narrative and some direction to the comedy. I wouldn't quite call it "My Random Life" on that note.

chiro94 responds:

thanks dude i alredy solved the audio problem

[Office Times]

Six Points Lost Beneath that FAT FILE SIZE

Check out that file size. Mmm-mmm... why is this thing so massive? They barely even move! Is it the sound quality or something? What a rip-off! Lego's are not awesome.

I did laugh with the skits, though. Nothing like office humor to remind us that our society has gone off the deep end. And in other news, tomorrow IS Friday. Where I operate, that's "Freedom Friday". Casual is covered throughout the week.

BaustonFilms responds:

Wait... are you kidding me? You gave it a low score because of the file size? I can understand if you didn't think it was funny... but admitting it was funny and giving it a low score just doesn't make sense to me.

[Animation for school]

Practice Outside of School

This demonstrates a fundamental understanding of tweens and even melodrama. Just remember that term blended "melody" and "drama" together, meaning it'd be far better off with sound.

Also, a common method of remedying the blood discoloration issue is to remember it gets darker when there's lots of it. Also, you can use a tool in flash to click upon an imported image featuring realistic blood and use those instead.

Still, it pretty much sucks from a comparison to what everyone else is doing. Fortunately there is always room to improve, although in this case there is one big gaping void....

[A Pile of Leaves.]

This Made Me Laugh... Cheap, but a Laugh

Normally, I'm in a foul mood and never want to see another horrible Flash again. This, I imagined, was one of those times. However, the silly surprise ending caught me off guard, and the reaction was priceless.

Even though it looks as though the production values are poor... and they are, actually... the cartoon was assembled far better than one may think. It's short, sweet, and even the preloader "Play" button--that being the door--is a clever touch that transcends the notion that little thought went into this piece.

If the artwork improves, even an Author called "crapcartoons" can shine on the Newgrounds stage.

crapcartoons responds:

I appreciate criticism when it's constructive. Obviously I chose my username for a reason.

[WIP - Design IV]

Halfway There Equals Halfway Score

Tad on the crude side, but everything's looking okay so far. Few take time to animate the coloring of a black-and-white piece, so this might turn out okay. Let us know when you have the finished product!