Neophyte-Ronin's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Dual Arms Verbatim Part 1]

Finish It

It's disheartening when nobody bothers to finish what they start.

If you recall XIN back in the day, that was good. Dual Arms pushes the envelope of quality even further. Don't even suggest otherwise, even if you despise Anime. It's a style, not a plague.

I know the story and overabundance of dialogue proves confusing and troublesome to keep up with, but that's why there's an action sequence where everything clicks together and you don't need your brain on overdrive to get it. Since there doesn't seem to be an action sequence, as well as a great deal of espionage suspense building up to nowhere without one or two, I'd say this Laser Movie requires the second part so I can give it a far fairer (or more accurate) rating.

So, I say again: FINISH THE DAMN THING!

RPGsrok responds:

You nailed the second part - essentially it does ramp up the action. The original intent, of course, would've been to do Verbatim in one shot, but that was before I realized how insane it would be to try and finish a 20 minute feature, even in 2 or 3 years, alone. Also, the file would probably be too large.

I'm not one to give up on what I start. The fact that I even completed this part, if I may humbly say so, is testament to that. And if such positive feedback as yours continues, I can guarantee I will see Verbatim through to the end.

Thanks for reviewing!

[Coming Soon...]

...But You Already Know She's Faking It

Eh, it was intellectual and moody... but it was okay. Nothing stellar.

It's a satire derailing movie trailers. You get the message just by watching the promo, perhaps out of saturation and anticipation, or some other effect (like people not being as stupid, or at least understanding the typical Hollywood patch of narrative devices).

The collab is inconsistent, even unemotional at times. Some parts are poorly acted (the woman and guys getting eaten by a fish--monotone doesn't equal humor), while others are just poorly drawn (half of them). A few look and sound polished, which is what a movie trailer should be. A few got a smile out of me--who'd think a guy would marry a horse? A New Zealander?--but none made me laugh or think twice about wanting to see the movie in question.

Maybe I'm just jaded. Maybe I am... but let's get real here: this isn't as good as it should be. It gave me a mild headache, but no third degree burns on my head. It was little more than an annoyance in most cases. Not to say it sucked purely either; a few, very few clips, were polished or well-thought out. Unfortunately, this, like most thematic collaborations, remind the regular crowd of zero-voting flunkies that these are nothing but grabbags of attention deficit disorder, with few artistic or entertainment merits worth mentioning. Depressing, but true.

All I can say is: keep trying. It didn't come together this round, but don't let that dissuade you from making a far more concrete effort in the future!

[Nicolas Cage Wants Cake]

The Cake is in Her Mouth

You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. This is the sort of ridiculous Flash that becomes Internet meme material. Figure someone will resurrect this when Portal II debuts sometime next year, so look forward to explaining then, after a year of this being in your catalog, your exact thoughts when this movie popped into your head.

Actually, a simple yet ridiculous cartoon like this--which looks and sounds excellent, by the way--is the best therapy for working on a long-term hardcore project, often on your own with few supports other than the online scene. This is a message to practically anybody who's going through a lengthy project that never seems to end: find something else to work on. No matter how critical he is about it, Harry will probably go down in history as the author of another rabid Internet meme, while the stuff he's working on right now will likely be forgotten.

That's the net these days. Doesn't mean you have to like it, but it is what it is.

As for the video, this is well-animated, goofy tribute to Nicholas Cage. It's also very tasteful; unlike most authors who slather their masterpieces with sarcasm and rabid jealous criticisms of the celebrity in question, this is both satirical and a tribute. I bet you ten times out of ten that if you send an email to Nicholas Cage's official site (which trickles back to him at some point), and offer up a link leading to this video, he'd get a big kick out of it. That's how good this video is.

So no matter how worried you may feel about your efforts, its stupidity, or whatever, you have succeeded in entertaining the masses if only for a brief minute, in style and as good as any of your more serious projects. As an added caveat, you have proven the cake is true, for once!

[[2010] REBOOT 11]

It's About Time! Solid, but not Spectacular

This is a long-awaited re-entry to a long-forgotten series... if that makes sense. It's very surreal, like a nightmare in pixels. The voice-overs are inconsistent, however, which detracts from the overall experience. The script could also use some fine-tuning.

Now, while the artwork is crude, it is made of pixels and, in its block-clad crudity, envelops one into a world beyond their own. The facial expressions are what drive the scenes forward; a great deal of affect in their horror and madness. The art style is far beyond the art's technical competence, in other words. The landscapes are okay, but do not immerse the viewer as the characters do.

In terms of storytelling, REBOOT takes liberal cues from the manga scene, so it won't be for everyone. It's long, but I've seen better file sizes for this much content. I'm not sure if optimizing pixels is possible, but try it once or twice and see if that doesn't smoothen things up. I also had a hard time from the start with the processing speed. It was quite choppy without setting it to Low Quality (which doesn't clinically affect the visual effects of sprites or bitmaps in a flash, but smooths just about any animation).

I also noticed you out-sourced your music. By that, I mean you took tracks from sources not related to Newgrounds or, in general, music that is not royalty-free. Before you delve into original content (and you seem sturdy enough to try), consider using the Audio Portal or other such sites. Don't just settle--spend several days perusing many authors' stuff, downloading whatever strikes your fancy, and figure out which tracks make (or break) a given scene.

It's good that you finally rebooted an old cartoon and continued it, so now a few of us will be looking for the next few episodes, particularly when it will end (since it has a feature-length plot to it!). Keep up the good work, and for your next project, consider a different art style for a change of pace.

JMartin97 responds:

Thanks for your comments, I'm going to take a lot into consideration. When someone is respectful and writes like this it really helps.

A lot of this cartoon was animated two years ago, I've gotten a lot better in that time. Hopefully that will be apparent in 12. Episode 12 will be spectacular, I promise!

Thank you!

[I Said NO]

Well I Say YES

Disgusting cuteness always needs a little black humor.

After blamming some trash, it's always nice to see someone who can concoct something decent. It's not the best, but these Neko-Wafers (what i call them) can stand on their own in cartoons that don't involve copyrighted characters (i.e. the popular ones seen on TV and elsewhere).

This is reasonably good in terms of visual style, and there is some basic sound editing involved, although there is some fizzle in the soundtrack and voice-overs. In all, Krista has the edge to produce some quality material in flash, especially a whole set of these cartoons!

[My Penis Is A Foot]

Why Isn't This in the Blue Range?

This is one of those Flashes that, no matter how roughshod, deserves a better vote. Who was doing all the bombing?

[Shared Food Tastes Better]

Shared Flash Looks Better, Too!

Pretty Spartan cartoon if you ask me. Not that this detracts from your vision.

It's nice to know that an author is unafraid to showcase a sweet cartoon once in a while, especially one with a moral message. In terms of Newgrounds, it's like trying to master a second language. Actually, this might actually spark a trend, provided that an admin or other such figure posts it onto the Front Page for a good length of time. Considering the big problem down in Haiti, this is as good a message as we need.

Good job. The Flash is simple from a technical perspective, but far-reaching in its scope. I hope you're never a stranger to Newgrounds like, ever!

jackbliss responds:

Thanks for the honest and detailed review and I'm glad overall you thought it was good :)

[Avatar - Hot Na'vi Sex]

Explicit, Awkward, Lewd. Kiss Me I Love It!

My only hang-is that this should be rated M for Mature, not T for Teen. The end scene is downright adult material, regardless of the utensils involved. Essentially, the mature sexual themes transcend a paltry Teen rating, which suggests things without directly depicting them. Even if the action happens outside of the camera shot, the fluids appear rather overtly near the end. Other than the argument towards an accurate content advisory, "Avatar - Hot Na'vi Sex" is hilarious to a fault.

I say fault because Happy Harry could have gotten a lady to perform these voice-overs. What's the deal? Must she sound perfectly alike, or was the script that racy and no there were no takers, period? Maybe Harry wanted it aired quicker and organized for himself to play both roles, just to stay topical with the movie still in theaters. Unfortunately, any listener can tell that the same thespian performs both roles, and while it might sound cheeky at first, it eventually detracts from the cartoon. I have flashbacks of listening to some of Stamper's old recordings and cartoons in his audio and flash catalogs. Trust me, that isn't a compliment.

It is difficult to pull off a single actor performing a conversation, unless the voices themselves sound very, very different. As an aspirant voice-over thespian myself, I can imagine very few situations where this technique is acceptable. Suppose I borrowed from 8-Bit Theater, how voice-overs depicted Black Mage, work with that voice, and add a super-heroic and egotistical voice for Red Mage, which needs to sound cheesy, borderline operatic, very bombastic and arrogant, to properly contrast with Black Mage's sibilant, snide rasp. Black Mage would also be masked with a few metallic effects thrown in for good measure, but other than that, I could have a conversation with myself regarding how Dr. Doom owns Batman. If I attempted to perform a White Mage and Black Mage conversation, or worse, a Red Mage and White Mage conversation, I would pencil myself in for an unexpected visit with the angel of death.

So... like I'm one to talk!

The cartoon is well animated, with tight shots of each character's complexion. It is less about the background (also well-done, enough for one to suspect its true origin, whether or not the author drew it or not) and more about the absurdity of alien sex, and of the apparent absurdity of the movie's plot. It's simple, short, sweet, and full of awkwardness, like entering a brave new world. Such is the case with any sexuality, if you really look at it.

In all, this constitutes living proof that Happy Harry Partridge practically deserves the honor of that miserable crank Ry putting all of his material onto YouTube illegally. Maybe one or two more cartoons like this and, to similar extent, that "Misinterpretive Porn Star" cartoon can coax some gals from the Voice Actors' Club to say, "Hey jackass, we heard you do bad impersonations of women. Mind if we help out?" That's probably a better fate than listening through Stamper's "Dick Clubbin'" and trying real hard not to laugh... because you just can't do it. Likewise, you can't not laugh during "Avatar - Hot Na'vi Sex", either.

[How Morons Stole X-mas]

Not Stellar, Possibly Buggy, but Okay

Sometimes it would stop for no reason. I had to click forward and click play for it to resume. It did so with the Japanese Overlord line and practically every other line thereafter. I suppose it might be because it is still under judgment, but I don't believe in coincidences. I reloaded the thing and crossed my fingers.

This is just messed up, however. It's great when it works (the second try worked). Anyway, there is a plot, barely, but the voices are muffled, mixed poorly, and the voice-overs' range is horribly limited. Still, it isn't portal trash, and perhaps the beginning of someone who could work his butt off and get into the animation industry somehow.

It's okay. Not stellar, but okay. Keep up the Flash, and consider purchasing a microphone.

Shi-Gu responds:

Thanks, yeah, our voice acting wasn't good and since it was all made in a week it didn't make it. Next time I'll start two months before -.-