Neophyte-Ronin's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[You Love This Movie]

Best NG Satire Yet...?

Applaud the two authors: this is by far the harshest, most poignant satire on Newgrounds. Why is that? More than fifty percent of it is true. The fact that they employed interesting organizational techniques in developing the cartoons doesn't hurt their standing, either.

While it helped in making progress over nine months, it's hard to see two different artistic styles side-by-side. Perhaps each style is too primitive to make any distinction between the authors. Not that it's a failing; the two styles blended together perfectly, which ironically became a strength, even if the artwork is generally primitive.

Artwork isn't the concern--this is all about fun. Most people first entering the world of Flash have one or more weak links when handling the program; conceptualizing is hard enough, but actually making it work... well, those that did are creative and aesthetic, true, but they also kept things simple. Flash authors who become famous often get criticized for the simplicity of their cartoons, or how their cartoons use themes and artistic styles over and over, without expanding their technical repertoire. Yet, they repeatedly come out on top, because the loyal audience immediately sees the quality of those author's works, while neophytes usually end up scratching their heads.

The tale of two kids who resort to terrorist actions against popular authors, including a hostage situation mediated by the site founders and admin, all to create a guaranteed "Daily First" entry and lucrative merchandising deal, is perhaps the best satire plot in Newgrounds. It's also long and exhaustive, at exactly five megs--the site's original file size cap--hence carrying a certain irony along with it. The sequences of slaying Clocks, running down Retarded Animal Babies, and executing Tommorow's Nobodies, are all excellent examples of where the flash shines. The ending, ever leaning towards an utter lack of realism, manages to let the authors act out everyone's fantasy of fortune and glory through standing tall over the corpses of countless Newgrounds pet peeves and disillusionment. How poignant.

The only gripe is excessive sexual humor. Everyone masturbates to television and pornography; it's overplayed in this cartoon. Granted, flash authors aren't associated with romantic relationships, but it's stereotpical and overplayed here. Most cartoons work better without sexual humor anyway; it often detracts from the main message.

Still, this is Newgrounds. Everyone uses this stuff too much. They had to display it.

The jokes express frustration and jealousy over popular flash authors. Incidentally, the humor often leaves the authors themselves painfully exposed, as if to say the more aspirant authors harbor jealousy over popular ones. Such jokes tell the audience that all Flash authors prefer lazily masturbating over working on Flash (can't be the case if they've won portal awards); a gross, condescending misconception. There are lapses in an author's submission cycle for other reasons... like not being glued to the computer like we might assume them to be. It's trite to restate that, but remember how easy that is to forget about when you're frustrated over how popular authors excel.

It's just personal enthusiasm... something the community has in spades anyway.

Despite the masturbation/misconception issue, as well as crude styles rendering the audience unclear about who's doing what (without the credits), this collaborative satire and plot is an excellent cartoon... as well as a good example on how to collaborate in a team. By specializing and prioritizing tasks, the authors pulled through. This is an example about how to organize a project. Hence, if this idea catches on (being Front Page and featuring satirical content, it's hard to say it won't), then future submissions will have a new standard to surpass, with a new set of techniques to learn in order to surpass it.

So it's okay to be a little jealous sometimes. Like the authors, let's spend that energy on showing those popular authors something to fear...

RSQViper responds:

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Kidding.

Well, first of all we'd like to give you a 10/10 on your review.

The two styles mix together well mostly because there isn't a ton of detail in them. If too much detail was put in, then they would become awkward. The big differences are in they way I shaded mine and the mouths/lip sync.

The whole playing with yourself things were used for comedy reason, not because that's what artists do all day. I mean, I'm an artist and I have a sexy fiance who I have hot, lurid sex with all the time so I NEVER have to masturbate. [That's my story and I'm sticking to it ;) ]

And I would say that a lot of artists are jealous of very popular artists. Like, I KNOW I can't draw and animate like Adam Phillips. It's not part of my DNA. At the same time I don't have that kind of time to animate, either.

For the most part this movie was just taking NG and situations and exaggerating them.

Thanks for saying that we basically made a new bar for collaborators to reach and surpass, though. That's a cool way to think about it.

[DevilSlayer V-1]

Stylish, but with Major Bugs

For all the things I could say that are good and the ones thaat are bad, the bad would seem to outweigh the good. Fortunately, nothing from the multitude of bad things are well beyond repair, and should be cleared up in future episodes of the series.

For the plus side, Nightgun has an interesting urban style, with cool visual effects and decent animation complementing a good Anime/American hybrid of art design. The voice talent is varied and fairly competent at delivering lines. There is a sense of tension and also personality among the various roles, which immediately immserses the audience.

However, Nightgun's plot grows murky, plagued in constant confusion. The brief conversations offer little to clarify things, and the voice talents had to slough through a few awkward phrases (the discussion about height is one example). There's also a lot to swallow within six minutes of airtime, further adding to confusion.

Finally, and perhaps the biggest difficulty of all, is the utter lack of mixing, or mastering, of the audio track. The voices and sound effects often overpower the music, and certain terribly recognizeable sound effects are overplayed during battle sequences. It's hard to stay immersive when you hear the same slashing sound over and over as three separate hits strike the worm creature in the opening fight sequence.

None of the bad stuff will deter the audience, so long as they are remedied. Several hours of experimentation with a program like Audacity--a free sound editing application--should help tone down certain sounds, improve the music's bassline (a suggestion to add dramatic effect), and keep the voice talents from crackling over the recording registers. Adding further polish to the dialogue will also strengthen this series.

Currently, the concept and art style of Nightgun provide solid proof that the authors' faith and devotion are paying off in spades. WIth some added technical precision, and these episodes might just top the charts in the Flash Portal. Keep your fingers crossed.

JazLyte responds:

Wow, detailed review. Ok, I appreciate the advice, and will work on it in future stuff. Thanks.

[Jerry]

File this one under "Bastards" Collection...

Well, that is Jerry.

Graphics: 6.
Face it, the drawings are fairly simple, and you reused things over and over. Still, that does display storytelling expertise rather than technical depth.

Style: 8.
A crazy adult cartoon... pretty poignant, though a little exaggerated.

Sound: 10.
Actually, I got no problem with the sound.

Violence: 2.
Slap!

Interactivity:
A Replay Button... zero.

Humor: 8.
I thought this was going to be a serious one for a moment there...!

Overall: 10.
I doubt you'll ever submit something that cool again, but you can prove me wrong. Go right ahead. Ha, I doubt anybody will ever submit something that cool again.

[Wayward Animals - Part 1]

Finally! Someone who tries a cohesive plot!

This almost looks groundbreaking compared to the drudgery of filtering all the evil abusive crew spam submissions and wayward and repetitive stick fighting scenes that abuse and rip off all the ultra-power ultra-violent animes. With that said, seeing your submission is like a gift from God. I'll still stay fair on technical points, as this could be better in a few things.

Graphics: 7. The only faults here were trying to maintain correct perspective and proportions in the human characters. It's probably a style thing, but remember that the legs are about half of someone's height. Or maybe the hair threw me off.

Style: 8. This covers both art style and writing, and even voice-overs. They're all good.

The style of art is a cartoony blend but isn't afraid to get serious (I expected a more funny cartoon to be honest). A few issues with the proportions might only be stylistic, but if you can draw that well in flash, no doubt you draw on paper. Either digital photographs or scanned images of your drawn work and then tracing them in flash might help you out--provided you have either a scanner or digital camera.

The writing doesn't try to be too smart or witty (honestly, a zookeeper steps in droppings), but sometimes you can get too clever for your own good, at which point you start ostracizing the audience. Trust me: the kids around here go for simple and crude over complex and witty. In the brief time we have, the writing reveals enough about the main characters to make us feel for their fates. That's impressive, considering most around here dodge any sort of plot.

As for voice-overs, they are believable. You clearly got good help backing you up, and it shows.

P.S. about style: I love the product placements, from coca-cola to Pantera T-Shirts. I figured this could also get airtime as a completed piece--once both parts are combined--on a big-time for-profit site. You might even get advertising cash out of things like this....

Sound: 8. Everything comes in clear. You even avoid the wind effects from people's voices. Few people remember to avoid that. If you want crunching metal in a chase scene, the Audio Portal has excellent metal musicians. Look for Xenogenocide, Bad-Man Incorporated, or Rocker206 for prime examples. Golgoroth and GoreBastard are also noteworthy choices. You get bonus points locally at the site by doing a little research in the audio portal. Still, everything sound correct, and it fit, so however you go about submitting at this kind of quality is perfectly your business.

Violence: 6. Subjective, true, though instances of blood and dragging the tiger into a back alley are pretty violent. This is probably why you'd request a move to the Serious Shorts section. I agree.

Interactivity: 0. Objective, actually; only a replay button. No need for fancy DVD bonuses when it comes to an animation; the designation is chiefly for games.

Humor: 5. The beginning is funny... then it gets serious. I laughed when the old bag gets swatted. I used to play Zeebarf and Fulp's "Disorderly" in the day, but these days I live in a building filled with old people... so some kind of karma thing occurred. Anyway, it has its moments.

Overall: 10. Overall ain't an average. This is more than just worthy of the portal. I hope you had fun making it as much as I had watching it.

Chemical-Disaster responds:

wow thank you best review ever. I love how you realy thaught about this and ways to improve, thanks

[Chewbacca!]

Actually not bad for a first

Now, most people who make a first flash often suck at it, but this isn't the case. The lip-synch and funny cartoon style in the artwork make it worth a good watch. You ripped the music, but I won't hold it against you. It fit nicely. It's nothing spectacular but it stands above other flashes. You have what it takes to create even better stuff.

[Mashi Gear Solid]

You Created a Time Paradox!

Graphics: 8. Everything flows easily and it is a cartoon through and through--a crazy one at that.

Style: 10. I love that window filled with Major Zero stills. They are all insane! Everything's insane, actually.

Sound: 7. Well-acted, but sometimes you screech against the register, resulting in popping in the audio. Watch that.

Violence: 10. Oh, yes!

Interactivity: 0. Yeah, this has a few buttons... yeah, it's a movie. I use this heading to comment on a game's play control.

Humor: 10. Self-explanatory....

Overall: 10. I'm surprised this went to the bottom of the list without any fanfare. It's one of the really good modern MGS spoofs.

Austineo responds:

Hey, I really appreciate that, mate! Always nice to receive a positive review that's actually specific...! Haha, the Major Zero stills were definitely very fun to do.

[Muffin!]

MUFFINMUFFINSTUPIDMUFFINDIEMUF FIN!

Graphics: 4. No background, crude technique.
Style: 5. Crude technique, little plot.
Sound: 6. Good sound effects--everything fits--even voice-overs!
Violence: 8. Naturally....
Interactivity: 0. Just something you watch to get a laugh out of.
Humor: 10. I replayed it twice. That will give you an idea on this score.
Overal: 8. You'll improve your technique, right? At least you got the goofiness.

There, your review. It's a bit crude in design, but you still laugh your ass off, which is the point.

[Negroid Prime]

Only Two Reviews?

Yeah, this is number two (unless some punk beats me to the punch with a single sentence!). I immediately replayed this after watching it and started cracking up really hard because--for what it's worth--it's a perfectly evil satire and I like that stuff. Therefore, I'm partial. However, I'm still fair with my review:

Graphics: 4 (lackluster animation and sprite techniques, but they are sufficient in getting the message across).

Style: 7 (come on, this actually had a point behind all the deliberately excessive seediness; can you imagine Nintendo actually jerking around with its reputation so shamelessly?).

Sound: 8 (while the compression nixed the clarity somewhat, everyone performed their parts quite well, furthering this one's twisted charm)

Violence: 7 (not Madness material, but hey, almost every shot had something horrible going on).

Interactivity: 1 (press Replay once or twice... no, three times).

Humor: 8 (two point reduction solely because most people consider this brand very sophomoric and outlandish--not their thing--so only the ghetto fans and Monty Python crazies will actually get it. Still, it's infectiously funny, worth a couple views at least.

Overall: 10. Ignore the grumps behind me. Those praying for blams are not bold.

Rancidiscatchy responds:

Haha thanks a lot, coincidentally I learned about the Vcam I used for this in your big fat tutorial so... thanks!

[Slash Returns: ramagi]

Not Bad

A tongue-in-cheek music video, this could be done better but at least it doesn't suck.

Graphics: 3. Mostly ripped images and poor drawings. At least attempts were made.

Syle: 4. Not the most aesthetic things in the world.

Sound: 6. Perhaps the best strength is the choice of soundtrack.

Violence: 2. A little bit here and there.

Interactivity: 0 (just a replay button).

Humor: 7. Though I wonder if she'd find it funny....

Overall: 5. At least it's better than your previous submissions.

SlashFirestorm responds:

I DISAGREE WITH YOU GOOD SIR

Graphics: 13. My amazing mastery of the little line connecty-thing, of which I know not the name, is unparalleled! The fiery beauty of ramagi and her hotness lights up the screen like a billion fireflies humping a technicolor rainbow.

Style: 2345243542. ramagi and her incredible hotness and power being celebrated is the most important thing the human race has done since...well, ever.

Sound: 4253923542534. FIREHOUSE, MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU HEAR IT?

Violence: 2. Eh, I AGREE. I could have disemboweled the vile .swf's, but pummeling and gunfire is just as good.

Interactivity: 4. A SEXY replay button that arouses cocks through its flawless mastery of actionscript.

Humor: 100, because we all know how likely it is for ramagi to love a lowly just-above-Supreme-Commander warrior like me. It's funny, isn't it? Funny...:crying softly:

Overall: 3.14, because that's pi, and everyone loves pi. :-D

[you can't kill me]

Hey, this works!

You spent a day on that? It was a one-take wonder. Pat yourself on the back; some people agonize across months and deliver inferior quality.

Graphics get a 7 because everything flows smoothly and the lip synchronizations are near-flawless. It does look rather simple, though.

Style got a 6 because it is a simple cartoon and also a topical one. The "What?" section was a necessary thing.

Sound gets an 8. You went past the register on your microphone, but you actually performed incredibly well. Also, it isn't so low as to be totally imperceptible.

Violence gets a 0 even if there's a twang of discontent.

Interactivity gets a 2. I replayed twice.

Humor gets a 10. You gave the avatar an excellent edge about him.

Overall: 10. What can I say? In a day, you jabbed their biased little throats shut. See you at DeviantArt.