Neophyte-Ronin's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[GIMME DAT BUTT]

Way to break the deal, Casablanca.

I bet there will be a flood of shit animations that use this track. Keep your fingers crossed.

You made my day, either way.

DruoxtheShredder responds:

Oh, i can't wait to see them.

[Technical Math Metal]

HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA HAAROFL

Two months for this? Get out of here.

(Post-Script: ALTACCOUNT!)

CockRider responds:

Maaan, I don't know what you is tawking 'bout daaawg.
This shit is fo' real and I've been offered a record deal and shit but I turned it down because I need to grow, not only as an artist.... But as a person, Neophyte... As a person.

[Star Wars Metal Medley]

Fuck you, you're GoreBastard and you're fucking with people.

One of the really fine musical TROLL! routines I've heard in a while, which also put a tear in my eye. It's that bad. It actually takes a different talent to un-learn what you've learned and make it deliberately sloppy, and only splice in decent parts that immediately revert to the previous SHITFEST this really was.

Only on the Summer Solstice would you ever hear a CockRider track, but it's actually pretty welcome; we need assholes like these to wake us up from all the serious business that transpires throughout the Audio Portal. In terms of prior jokes, this one is actually pretty well-made and guaranteed to get a few uninformed critics to seriously think that this guy has been playing for two months. Honestly Gore, what would this site be without you?

Can I stop holding onto my socks? Actually, I was never holding on. Someone's got to have the eidetic memory around here....

[Gungnam Metal Style]

Wait... I don't fuckin' get this. At all.

And don't try to help out, either. It'll just make shit worse.

Doesn't detract from solid production and, uh....

[Jiido No Shuugeki (cover)]

While not a fan of Big Dipper Fist, I find this to be a perfect adaptation for what is one of the most irresponsibly goriest things to come out of Japan, and not a single thing from there since then matches it. For everything that could be considered a minus (e.g. the drums are basic) there are plenty of plus signs scattered throughout. It's also one of the cleanest tracks I've heard from you in a long time. Hell, it's one of the only fuckin' tracks I've heard from you in a long time; what's keeping ya?

This is the complementary introductory score to any sensible bad-ass such as ourselves. Thank you and Good-Night.

GoreBastard responds:

Cheers dude! Yeah, I didn't want to go overboard on the drums. For the most part, I pretty much just copied what the original did... That, and my drum samples still suck balls!

Thanks man, if you ever get into any trouble, think of this tune and bad-ass your way out of it!!

[Fade Into the Obscure]

Why hasn't anybody reviewed this? What are they, fucking retarded?

This is pretty slick. You should promote yourself before other hard-asses like Gorebastard and Bad-Man-Incorporated. Try Xenogenocide and Metaljonus. This isn't so bad if it's on par with guys like them. It's also melodramatic, bombastic, like a good hint of classical thunder inspired the progression.

Five Material. Download-Worthy too.

ElektrikWizrD responds:

Haha thanks man. I would but those dudes are super intimidating, hahahaha.

[Zero Divide - Demonised]

I recall this riff from a previous track, like either The Deep South or that "Back in Black" spoof, a very groove metal-inspired riff. So yeah, this ain't fucking new at all. It's just something that got done up right, because it deserved it.

Metal!

[B7 - Tomahawk]

You scalped the audience. In a good way.

Very reminiscent of Pantera and Groove Style, with a tendency to thrash very hard. No cowbells, thank God. Overall, it's one of those pieces where you picture a scene in your mind of constant brutality or a crazy action scene, like a fighter jet doing kamikaze on the lumbering giant robot heading towards the city center.

In other words, evocative of hardcore imagery. Very well done.

Burn7 responds:

Hey thanks dude! Hah, it's kinda funny... I never really considered Pantera one of my influences, but after listening to the song again with your review in mind it really does sound Pantera-like and very groove-metalish.

Thanks for your review! :D