Neophyte-Ronin's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[b3 hit - mix]

What was all that about?

I think I've reviewed plenty of your work to sense a pattern. This one was completely disturbing. It ought to prevent anyone from thinking that Mausland centers on masturbatory aides like the Frank's Adventure series.

Onto technical standards: the animation is crisp and swift, the music (while not fitting the mood for violence) is crisp and clear, and your personal stance on boy bands is rendered quite lucid: you hate them and, if they won't die anytime soon, you will blow your head off. That message can be made clear if you can identify the style and origin of the background music.

Anyway, at around 500 Kb, this is quick and easy fun, with a loop to it as well. Keep up the good work. And keep up the bad-ass work while you're at it!

[You are a F*cking Moron5]

I Love This Series

Frankly, the "You Are a Fucking Moron" series is a breath of fresh air for celebrity roasting.

It focuses on quotes and behaviors of celebrities to prove their stupidity--once and for all. Superior intellect is often not a celebrity's strongest link. Someone can climb the ladder of fame faster than I can type and, for my mind and I, that's a bad thing.

The series' success in roasting celebrities on account of their brains is exemplary. If you overlook bad language, one finds a well-animated & topical host that cleans house--with superb voice acting. Reginald is the new standard for Flash Animators everywhere. His design and the background suit the mood well and does not detract from the main source of hilarity. His voice is off the wall--some people actually speak like that in front of a camera!

The fifth installment talks about good ol' President George Dubbaya Bush. And although I voted for him and stand behind his policies (no matter how financially expensive they become), I still find it fun to pick on how inarticulate he is. How much he deserves it is anyone's guess, but each president has flaws for the political cartoonists and bad comedians to exploit. He might not BE a moron, but he can SOUND like one!

Anyway, excellent production values and a roast-based premise that does not rely upon violence make this series a must-see for celebrity haters and a solid overall Flash for Newgrounds.

[BEEBO Part 6]

Each Guy Has the Same HEAD!

Ending up in Communist China after a harrowing burrow out of the depths of hell, Beebo's owner (still that disgusting wretch without any pants and with yellow-stained underwear) is captured by a group of guards, whom believe the guy has something to do with McCain.

Meanwhile, Beebo prepares to go medieval upon the freaks that wrong him. This is the creator's favorite Flash of Beebo for good reason: the action picks up and there's this sense of deadly urgency. And the owner today will be partly dippy with a chance of stupid.

Technically primitive, Beebo, The Cat Who Smokes, is another over-the-top gross-out-fest that gets better with every episode. It is suggested, however, that new viewers have the courtesy to view previous installments before making any final judgment.

[BEEBO Part 5]

Better and Better

Beebo, Retard Owner, two brothers, a loud-mouth old guy and a swave, silent operator are playing a healthy game of Uno. Retard, naturally, is losing. He starts badmouthing Wisconsin, and a guy from that state comes along and thoroughly beats the dignity out of him, stuffing cards in all pores of Retard's anatomy.

That's the highlight of the whole Flash: the fight and the aftermath. He rightfully got what he deserves. Anyway, the plan to escape by digging out fails, thanks to Retard's inability to grasp the effort-increasing powers of a shovel. He just whips it at the operator like the Retard he is. And he still hasn't found any pants to put on, or at least a change of underwear.

It finally happened: I laughed out loud at this one. It is sort of a culmination--it takes time. People new to the series are instructed to view previous Flashes of Beebo before making any final judgments about the series.

[BEEBO Part 4]

Beebo and Piece of Shit Owner Go to Hell! Sweet!

So, this guy has an incredibly bad record and goes to hell. The cat was slated for heaven, but he decides to shove the cat into the semen-infested underwear that he wears all the time--WITHOUT ANY PANTS FOR UNKNOWN REASONS! This guy would go to hell simply by parading around like the Master of the Universe in his underwear. I wish he had super powers, so he would at least be attacked and viciously crippled time and time again by an evil super villain, which would probably round out the haphazard storytelling.

Overall, I like the idea of going to hell for this guy. He certainly deserved getting his penis and testicles ripped away by a cat that should have went to heaven. One problem: to solidify the fact that he was, in fact, in hell, the maker could have at least added some sex appeal with a stellar cast of porn stars (not that they should be naked, but simply be there to tease him for eternity). The inclusion of Kobe Bryant as the terrible judge was pretty lame and tasteless, though.

[BEEBO Part 3]

This Isn't Too Bad

Earlier Beebo Flashes were muddled and technically decrepid. This one fares no better, except for the addition of drug humor.

Three Jamaicans wash upon the shores of America after their perilous escape from the island, which, in God's fury for anything Sodom & Gommorha, was fired upon with fifty feet-wide meteors. At America, they are saved from certain death by Beebo, and, in return for his generosity, they stuff him in the toilet. While Beebo smokes whatever the Jamaicans came along with, the owner (still without pants, still with yellow underwear, still with mullet and bad attitude) returns home, hears the Jamaicans' story, and drives them off with boiling water. In the meantime, one of the guys thinks the owner looks a lot like a whale he had fought during the journey, and, without hesitation, shoves a lamp-post through the guy's chest. But before Beebo has a chance to light up, the owner manages to shoot the furball through the head.

Now that I've spared many people from having to watch this one, feel free to watch the flick and pretend that I didn't warn you. At least it's better than the last two and, for a sequel, that's pretty damn good considering how sequels go.

[BEEBO Part 2]

Dude, This Sucks.

Well, most of it anyway. First, many thanks for not continuing those stupid Pope jokes from the last episode. Christopher Walken has an Australian section for his diner, huh? And Paul Hogan, like a total jerk, eats the sandwich our protagonists had ordered. This time, Beebo's owner (who is still dressed without any damn pants) sends the cat out to save the day. That pretty much summarizes this guy: he is a total frigging loser. First episode, he bashes the cat around, the next one, he has to ask politely for Beebo to save the damn sandwich. Maybe it's only because the diner forbade smoking?

As I said in the title: Dude, This Sucks.

[BEEBO Part 1]

Issues, Issues, Issues

A cat that not only smokes, but gets his body mangled by a plunger for it. I really didn't like how the pope got margainalized as a cash-bumming crackhead, but beating upon a pimp-like cat with a butt in his mouth was pretty cool. However, I was hoping Beebo would win, since Fugly McStupid was not a prize to behold, what with his yellow underwear, a WWF t-shirt, long hair in what appeared to be a mullet, et cetera. Also, the guy has issues. Attire aside, he has LOTS OF ISSUES.

[B-Jesus!!]

B-Jesus? Now They're Getting Evasive!

This one has a very low score at the time of my review--smaller than another Flash entry that was Blammed from existence which also happens to be a part of the NG Christ section. Rightfully so, I'm betting. Many of these religious-centered Flashes tend to be over-the-top and always banefully satirical.

Except this one is not as bad.

B-Jesus is, however, pretty stupid regardless of it's stature among it's brethren. Some guy looking like Jesus (a few guys out there happen to look like Him) comes out to save the day and conflagrate a mugger. At least it's somebody else; Jesus would never try anything of the sort. He forgave a thief while He was dying on the cross.

I'm simply waiting for somebody versed in Flash to make a reverent, but still flat-out funny animation pertaining to religion. Also, I don't see why nobody goes out of their way to satirize any other religion besides Christianity. Buddism, Islam, Hindu, Shinto--I can think of a whole bunch of religions that can get wasted by this site. Then again, everyone sticks to the functional, the simple, the plain stinking BORING religions to pick on.

Forget this. I'm going to play that Swear Gadget for an hour. "W W W DOT WHAT THE FUCK!? DOT COM!"